Thursday, March 20, 2008

Nuts and Apples

Title of this blog was provided by our own "G.R.I.T.S" Sonshine (for all of you who don't know what that stands for it is : Girl Raised in the South).

The trains in New York are a wonderfully entertaining mode of transportation. When they MTA asked fellow straphangers to grade the service they should have asked about the entertainment because the service deserves a big giant D (on a good day C-). The WTF moments that are public transportation can't be duplicated in any other city but the Big Apple.

I think the woman I am about to tell you about suffered from some sort of mental illness and that is not funny but what she was doing was hilarious and the way all the folks on the train reacted was even funnier.

This morning on the train ride there was half a seat open for people to sit down, I only go three stops so I usually stand, not to mention the hysteria this seemed to cause the early morning crowd (people were pushing to sit down). To their dismay they would all end up standing as they probably should have in the first place (ok side note, I hate when people sit down to go one stop, its ridiculous). There was a woman who looked drunk at first glance sitting there drooling uncontrollably, she was very clean but the drool was my first red flag. Immediately when two people sat on either side of her she began talking to herself about the King of Queens. These are direct quotes (yes I wrote them down). "King of Queens is great, that guy is 'effin funny and that girl sexy she is just like me, we look alike" Ok now this woman was about 250 and Black with a short cropped afro, so nothing like the actress on that show. She also kept flinging her hair (like it was long) that was under a baseball cap. Immediately the first two to sit got up, next two sit and the woman breaks out into her own rendition of "Rapper's delight". I was cracking up at this point because there was a black woman sitting in front of me and she was so annoyed, she kept sucking her teeth and trying to close her ears. Once we arrive at Union Square the two who were sitting through the extra long version of the song got up and were pissed off. They were mumbling the woman who went into her next number of "loving you" at this point only one brave soul sat down. As she sang loving you is easy 'cause your beautiful I looked over my shoulder and there was this white man with his mouth wide open. I'm not sure but I think he was probably a tourist. She continued with her hair flipping and singing all the way to Grand Central.

I couldn't be annoyed with her like I am usually when someone comes on the train talking loudly about selling candy so they can stay off the street and have a little money in their pockets, or when the dancer start doing flips giving me flashbacks of that video when the kid gets kicked. I was however annoyed by my fellowstrap hangers telling the conductor to get the police at the next station to get her off the train. Why? she wasn't really bothering anyone, she was singing and talking with herself. And I was entertained.


Adia said...

..get her crzy ass off the train. One moment she's singing, the next moment she's stabbing someone in the eye with an umbrella.....

The F$%K it List said...

she wasn't that kind of crazy. She really wasn't bothering anyone. People can just be so silly. The drooling was actually the worst part.

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

EEK! i once received a very creative poem from a homeless drunk. he spoke about how he could be beating folks in the head for money, but he saw it fit to perform on the subway was sheer hilarity and oh-so-scary at the same time