Sunday, March 2, 2008

Random: made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern

Let it be known that I am a venting maniac! This is my new venue for saying whatever is on my mind, sometimes serious and sometimes silly. Today I am feeling a little of both... First the giggles.

Giggle #1: To follow up on where the Klan shops please visit :
Please note that if you need your robes before Halloween or Christmas (prime Klan time) you must order well in advance. $95 for citizens of the Good 'ole US of A and $115 if you are anywhere else and you can only pay with American dollars ( maybe someone needs to clue the KKK into the fact that the Euro is worth twice the dollar).

Giggle #2:
Last week I was on the A train (my inspiration) and there was a very loud conversation being had by two women and a man. I tried my best to tune them out but nothing worked. It was clear that the man was interested in one of the ladies, but she was not feeling him for one sec. He used quite a bit of slang but for the most part he didn't sound like an idiot. A few stops in the women left the train and I was able to finally see who was chatting away....Imagine my surprise when in front of me stood a PIMP.
Please try to picture this: A man wearing a red fedora slightly tilted to the side, full length fur coat (brown), red pant suit, red gators carrying a brief case... I know you are thinking the same thing I was.. What does a pimp need with a briefcase? I figured its just where he kept his pimp cup. So was he really surprised that this woman wasn't interested? All I could think when he was facing me was that I needed to not look him in the eye or I could end up on the strip in the Bronx (Hunts Point, background to my favorite documentary Pimps up hoes down).

Giggle #3: Will somebody please send Gary Coleman a bottle of Vaseline Intensive care coco butter lotion. Every time I see him his hands look like he has been playing in flour.

Stayed Tuned for the serious; Awards will be given out!


Stacy said...

LOL! Am I the only one who reads your blog?!?!? I was certain there would be more comments about the pimp. Anyway! Did I ever tell you that a pimp lives on my street? He is the nicest guy, although he only says Hi to me and not Todd (wonder why *wink*) and he is actually a pretty decent person. He is a recovering drug addict (and apparently a pimp) and he takes the bus everyday to somewhere and counsels other recovering drug addicts. The thing that makes this man a pimp is the attire. He wears HEAD TO TOE color...plum hat, coat, suit, shirt, tie, shoes, socks...bright yellow, kelly green, stop light red. And the cane. And this isn't just in the winter. This is the middle of TN SUMMER. The whole outfit. He has a pimp car but it must be broken down or he doesn't want to pay the pimp car gas because he takes the bus.

Sunshine said...

Yet another lesson learned by this G.R.I.T.S:
Never look a pimp directly in the eye!

The F$%K it List said...

Now sunshine, you know no one above the mason dixon knows what G.R.I.T.S means, Let the people know.