Thursday, April 3, 2008

The Don Magic Juan of Madison Avenue

Every morning since I started working in this building I've noticed that the security guards are extremely friendly except one. In this post 9/11 haze that I work in its important that the guards like you because they will look over infractions like leaving your pass upstairs or at home in your other purse (they actually will comment on the fact that you changed bags). For the most part all of this buildings guards are young and white with the exception of one. He is a black man probably in his early 60's. As I do with all the guards I said good morning to him a few days in a row and he never responded. So I just stopped speaking all together, not a big deal.

Well in the last few weeks he has been a rather chatty Cathy, but this morning at 7:45 he said a little too much for me to handle before my first cup of chai. If you saw him you would think "aww such a cute old man", because he really is he's short and thin with blue eyes and this great white hair. Anyway as I walked into the building he called me over, I'm thinking just to shoot the breeze like I've seen him do with friends of mine. Needless to say I was taken aback when he told me he'd been thinking about how pretty and delicate I am and that one of these days he is going to take me to lunch. To quote him he said " No McDonalds for you too pretty, a fancy white napkin lunch". I smile and say OK I have to go but I can't help laughing as I wait for the elevator.

A little later I go outside to meet up with one of my friends for a few minutes and when I come back in the building the guard approaches me again (this time leaving the desk). He starts a conversation about where I am from (he asked Liberia or Siberia, Huh what?), No Brooklyn great so was he, crown heights actually he had family living in the Pink Houses (ENY OK that's nice,can I go now?) . Just when I think its all over JJ (he tells me "that's what they call me" during this Q&A) says you know I'm old but not cold...WHAT WHAT WHAT?! Did my ears hear right old but not cold!!!

I kindly bid JJ Good day and say I need to get back to my office, I have a meeting in a few minutes (NOT TRUE).

I am officially creeped out and can never leave the building again. OMG I think I've been macked!


Adia said...

Aww, he never spoke to you before cuz he LIKED YOU! HA! "Old but not cold..." that's a new one.

Oh, and BTW, you are a delicate as my heels after a long winter in Timberlands......

The F$%K it List said...

@Adia Boo on you and your crusty A$$ feet