Wednesday, May 28, 2008

ASSumptions

Before I start the regularly scheduled program I have to say that Tea Partay is the funniest 'Ish I have ever seen (Pretty Black got my back on this one). And the giggles were provided by my man Mikey B
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Now we've all heard the old saying "Assumptions make an ass out of you and me" well welcome to me making an ass out of me. I'm probably one of the few NYers I know that will speak to a complete stranger. I say good morning to people just stare at me or just a simple Hello. That usually throws the haters off LOL. Now of course I have my moments where I will ignore you or give you the evil side eye (example cat calling me or worse calling me "MA"). But for the most part if you speak to me with respect I will do the same. And if I am intrigued or you just won't stop chatting I may even remove my IPOD.

Its Grand Central station at rush hour and I noticed this very handsome, clearly gay guy watching me. I was smiling like a Cheshire cat because of this but I didn't think it would go any further than that. As I stepped toward the express side of the platform I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around (*sidenote nothing annoys me more than a tap on the shoulder actually that's not true a one finger tap sends me over the edge), the conversation went like this:

Him: *smiling* Hi Gorgeous
Me: Uh Hi (anyone of you who say you wouldn't speak to him after that type of hello are liars)
Him: I just noticed you and wanted to tell you something, do you mind?
Me: *immediately look in the glass of the arriving train, to see what the humidity has done to my natural hair*
We both get on.
HIM: OMG nothing bad! (he really said O-M-G)
ME: Uhmm ok
HIM: Dangerous!
Me: Excuse me? I don't...
HIM: Dangerous, those shoes are so fucking beautiful!
ME: Cheshire cat grin returning Thank You!
HIM: You're welcome. Most women at the time of day have on commuter shoes but not you doll!
ME: Thanks for the compliment, Will you come and live with me and be my mirror mirror?
HIM: I don't think my wife would like that (shows me his ring finger)
ME: Your............WIFE, oh yeah that might be an issue I don't have space for her and my shoes
Laughter all around! (I am hoping he doesn't realize my huge faux pas).
ME: Oh this is my stop, thanks again
HIM: Bye I'm sure I'll see you again!

DAMN is all I can say as I walk to the A train in my fabulous shoes (that hurt like hell at this point but I keep it together, I hate to see women falling out because their shoes hurt, nope not I)
I really thought that dude was gay. I was really looking forward to posting about the third time around but nope a very straight man hit on my shoes. There is only one straight man I discuss my "Shoe game" with and that's Eric, So this all threw me for a loop. I had a colleague who would always compliment (or chastise) my shoe choices and though handsome he was no overly metrosexual dude.

So that's my story...I was more than embarrassed for making that assumption but he seemed to take it in stride ( he must get it alot). When I had a moment to digest it all I thought "now what would his wife think about him flirting with my shoes"

Giggles for your Metrosexual Bff :
Help him know if his next all day spa trip might be cancelled by using the ancient art of tarot, only these cards are Metrosexual specific.




11 comments:

DreamCop08 said...

oh well we all make assumptions

but you did get a nice compliment out of the deal....

those shoes must have been fierce honey

PrettyBlack said...

Weak at the damn tarot! Personal trainer? The decorator? Metrosexual is damn near gay!

I heart gay men. (because just because he's married doesn't mean he's not gay) I was at my sissy's doctors appt the other day and I have these pink coach shoes with a huge pink bow on the front I'll post them for you. Well my sis thinks they are horrific, but everytime I wear them I get sooo many compliments...anyway this gay dude walks up to me and says, "honey those shoes are fabulous." Girl you would think the skys opened up. The guy taking my sisters blood says, "you know when a gay man compliments your shoes they must be a bad pair of shoes." No lie, on my baby that happened! Girl I swear you are my east coast kindred spirit!

I have a mad shoe game. I'ma have to post some for you.

Kathy said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog. It's great to hear all the feedback...I really was just trying to post something I thought was funny to me based on my own experiences, but worried later that people might take it the wrong way. I guess there's nothing I can do about that.

This post was hilarious though!! I've never. EVER. Had a guy hit on my shoes before. That is too funny. And I love that the second he complimented you smiled all big. That's great!!

And I agree with prettyblack, metrosexual men are borderline gay.

James Tubman said...

you go gurl lol

sorry

just stoped by from eb the celeb's

nice to meet you

The F$%K it List said...

@dreamcop They are pretty fierce (TOOT TOOT my horn).

@prettyblack ok how crazy are those cards. I was sitting here like oh my god! Please post the shoes I must see them. I'll post a pic of mine once these Hives subside (UGh stay tuned).

@Kathy Thanks for returning the love,your blog is funny. As for what others think WHAT-EVER! Truth be told we all have issues that stem from the past so why not let it all out and live free of the baggage.

I was quite flattered it seems that I am very popular in midtown manhattan. I love it, I will have to step up my game for Fashion Week. Maybe I can get some free tickets if someone deems me fierce enough HAHA.

@James Thanks for stopping in.Come by more often,I'm on my way to your house now.

Kathy said...

Wow, thanks. I'm seriously flattered. Now I'm gonna have to get all caught up on your blog! What I would give for a sick day!!!

12kyle said...

Wow! That's different. A dude commenting on shoes? It'd be different if you had the new Air Jordans on. Haaaaaa

good post!

One Man’s Opinion said...

I will not be a "peanut". Hey, i am wondering what it was about my brother that made him seem, obviously gay. OMG, who says OMG? LOL. By the way, you did one hell of a job telling this story. Are all your post this good? I guess I'll have to read and find out, huh?

The F$%K it List said...

@kathy,It was a hard sick day because my son was here with me. SO between calamine lotion and diaper changes I could have gone to work. I hope you come by again.

@12kyle Its rare that you find a guy that is straight and can talk about shoes. I am convinced that he probably knew the designer haha.

@oneman It was the way he stood, incredibly feminine. I know here I go again with my assumptions but my gaydar has never let me down like that HAHA. I know I've only heard white girls say that and gay men so I was all confirmed at that point until he dropped that anvil on me hahaha

Thanks for the compliment I think I am getting better at writing my little life stories (now that I carry a notebook)

PCD (Pretty Circle Drawer) said...

hey, it happens...just like when i yelped in surprise because the fat lady next to me actually turned out to be preggers. my response was so obvious!

The F$%K it List said...

@PCD I don't feel bad anymore I was just like WHOA! when he said Wife. And he was a class act because another man would have cut the conversation short. HA