Thursday, May 8, 2008

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"

Dear Spring (and summer),

I am very happy you decided to show up and stay for a while, and by the look of it so is all of New York.

The women are rocking great skirts in all kinds of patterns, their makeup is light, colors are popping (in a city where black is the say all be all this is noteworthy) and I've seen fewer women wearing scarves tied on their heads. Definitely the woman are welcoming you shedding the many layers we have adorned for so long.

Yes Spring you are affecting all of use even the men. They are adorned in all sorts of gorgeous tailored suits with a multitude of colored shirts, sans ties. Though I don't pay it that much attention, the men telling a women how great she looks can only make you stop and say "Damn still got it". So many different types of awesome sunglasses (makes me want to go shopping). So spring we welcome you

However this would not be a F$%K it list letter if I did not point out a few wrongs about when you drop in. Believe me there is nothing but love for you spring but its unfortunate but when you visit your sucky relatives feel the need to drop by too. And here they are:

1. Pollen, Allergies. Its hard for me to look as fierce as we know I am when my eyes are itching and are all puffy. Thank God for Zyrtec!
2. Feet in sandals. ok ladies no one wants to see your feet shoes, so since we all have the urge to get out of the boots take some time to prepare. Watch the 7 day forecast on the various stations in this city (I prefer NY1) and make your pedicure appointments accordingly. No time for a professional pedicure then hit up Duane Reade for their pedicure kit so you can be so fresh and so clean.
3. Men (specifically old men) trying to holla at me while making LEWD comments. If you are old enough to be my dad or his youngest brother stop embarrassing yourself and me. My friend Cynthia can speak on how annoyed that makes me. And yes C, I had to tell an old man off this morning, he made an disgusting comment and I shot right back, bet he wasn't expecting that. YUCK YUCK YUCK!
4. PERFUME! Damn it people perfume is to enhance not to get my allergies all flared up in the confines of the A train. I shouldn't feel like I am being attacked my scents that's what Saks is for.

Oh Spring if only you could shake these cousins I would welcome you to stay forever..

With much Love,

The F$%K It List.


12kyle said...

mannnnnnnnn, i hate pollen. not only does it mess with my eyes but i can't even wash my whip

i love the spring, too

*memo to the ladies...we love looking at feet. but if you're gonna have your feet out...please make sure that they have lotion on them* LOL

I saw some crusty ones yesterday in the elevator. I just had to put that out there.

Lena said...

Allergies, ugh! Okay yea, the feet thing. I would say that applies to men too because they rock sandals (which already irks me, men in sandals) but then they're feet are just...*shudders*. People need to carry foot cream with them if they're going to be exposing them. Old men, lol. If you think the A train is horrible, try riding the 4. Now that was just ridiculous a few years ago but I am sure it hasn't changed.

Adia said...

..oh, that's pretty funny. I have more to add:

4) Deodorant: folks, by some, please.

5) Flipflops shall not be worn by those with gigantic bunions and a corn on each toe. Actually, this applies to any type of open-toed shoe.

6)Sleeveless apparel: I know it's hot, but no one wants to see flabby arms all summer. Hit the gym if you must wear such things. I'm not saying turn into Hulkamania, just a bit of toning. (I work out 4 times minimum per week so I can say such things).

7) Seeing a woman's drawers through white pants/skirts is horrifically gross. Invest in some decent underlings.

I have tons more, perhaps there will be a part 2.....

jameil1922 said...

i'll let spring stay in the south but spring is too cold in pittsburgh. flaky spring. i need summer to come when i'm here. and on "If you are old enough to be my dad or his youngest brother stop embarrassing yourself." vomit. we are so -->here<--