Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The closest to being in control we will ever be is in that moment that we realize we're not.”

Today was a long and trying day and all I wanted to do was go home and crawl up under the sheets and sleep it away. It seems like any and everything that could have gone wrong, did go wrong. And I was in a place that I have not been in for a long time, A place where I need to control things but can't (quote above).

With prayer and a whole lot of chanting I was able to overcome the icky feelings just in time to see C.J (kids really do read your feelings). While I was listening out for CJ and laying on the floor in child's pose, I decided to listen to one of my favorite artist on repeat. This video playlist defines how I felt from start to finish today.

John Mayer you are phenomenal! If I didn't have music oh boy what a day this would have turned out to be:

I absolutely love this song, Read the lyrics to "Stop this train" I'm sure you can relate.

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it, don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train


The Jaded NYer said...

honey I am a serious control freak so YES, I feel you on having one of those days, except it's feeling like one of those lives...

She W0rd Hustlez said...

Like the jaded nywer, I am a control freak as well, so I feel where you are coming from. When it seems as if you've lost that control; everything seems to crumble at your feet. Horrible feelings. I loved the lyrics to that song too by the way. .

The F$%K it List said...

@jaded I've really been working on not trying to bend the world to my will. I've figured it out I am running on empty. So I need to get back to doing things that make me feel good. Yoga here I come!

@sheW0rd IT really does and that is just a state of mind. One I would like to let escape from. The lyrics to taht song actually made me cry the first time I heard it.