Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Open Letter

This evening I went looking  for CJ a new fall jacket (why is he growing so damn fast, he's in a 4 already damn it, NOT A 4T a 4) and boy was I annoyed with the choices...which is why I am writing this open letter.

Dear Urban Designers,

 My son is 3 years old, a toddler he enjoys running, flipping and not listening to his parents when he can get away with it. His clothes need to be properly fitted for all his activities which is why I rebuke you! Why is the 4T really like a size 6 and way too big? I want my son to look like a child not a smaller version of his dad (who also rebukes you).
Now for your latest designs, why do all of your new designs include glittery billboard action on the sweater, t-shirt, pants, socks, etc...If you want to advertise on my son's body like he is a billboard in Times Square then I think you should pay me. And why all the glitter, sequin all over little boys clothes? Look its fine if grown men want to walk around looking like Liberachi but kids should look like kids and sequin is NOT KID FRIENDLY.

So to you Urban Designers I say Good Day! I tried but I can't, So You will never ever be a part of my sons wardrobe I'll just go to Daffy's and buy European.

The F$%k it list

P.S. Don't get me started about the little girls clothing. Just don't

Thursday, September 24, 2009

“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” ~Charles Jones

This morning as I rode into work I witnessed a woman being verbally assaulted by her boyfriend. The words he used were harsh and the looks he gave her condescending all of this on the subway. The way he spoke to her wasn't just a we had a fight earlier and we're both mad and speaking out the side of our necks. He was cursing at her and she kept looking down, like she was ashamed.Watching this got me to thinking about how the mind of an abuser really works.

 I've never had a man hit me or verbally abuse me and I can say for sure I wouldn't be able to tolerate either. IF a man hit me he had better knock me out so that I don't remember him the next day... I'm just saying my life is precious and if you endanger me you've murdered yourself.
*ok focus girl, this is not about you*

So what is it that makes a man an abuser? When the Chris Brown- Rihanna story broke, the excuse was that he was came by it honestly watching his mom be abused. I say excuse because though I believe you are a product of your upbringing, YOU ultimately make the decision to do something you know is wrong.

So what else is it? Is it like men that rape? The need to feel powerful? Are they predators? looking for women they suspect are weak? It really get confusing to me when I see women suffering under the rule of some less than average man.
My first encounter with Domestic Abuse was in Undergrad, I had a friend Sharla*, she dated a really great friend of mine's best friend. Now my friend Rob is nothing but a decent dude, so one would think his friends were the same.Well not this dude. At first he was all flowers and candy and when they were in public you would have thought they were happy happy happy (or maybe we were too blind to see ) but in private we came to learn that he was a real monster. And slowly but surely we were exposed to his abusive behavior. I remember one day Sharla came back to the dorm with her arm in a sling, and when we asked her what happened, she said she fell down the stairs at his house. Then all of a sudden she didn't want to be alone and he was rarely on campus anymore. It finally came out that he had held a gun to her head and pushed her down the stairs.  I was pissed, this girl always had identity issues (when I met her she was a pageant queen, then she decided to adopt what she thought was a Brooklyn style etc....) but this was nuts. And just like in all abusive relationship, I asked her why she would stay with someone that treat her so damn bad. Her answer..."Because I Love Him" SAY WHAT? (PAUSE: check out Bangs and a Bun post on this here: B~ PLEASE). I know Love and that was NOT LOVE....I was S.O.S (stuck on stupid, keep up people)at her response. Anyway she continued to make excuses until graduation, YES FOUR YEARS of bumps and bruises and me threatening the boy after he beat her so badly and then dropped her off at the dorm (I am quite the spit fire). And her number one excuse was that he only knew how to love because that is what his dad did. It was at graduation that she got her damn sense back and as far as I know never looked back.

This wasn't the last time I watched a friend be abused (or the last time I threatened a man life on the strength of friendship) it also wasn't the last time I heard that he didn't know any better and that "I love him"or "he'll get better". Like really, why do women make excuses for the man they really can't stand? And how is it that so many woman associate pain with love? When Mr.F$%K it acts the fool and someone asks me what's wrong with him? I say he's being an ass...IGNORE HIM I am. And I'm sure that I've angered Mr.F$%Kit to the point where he wants to strangle me but he's never hit me.

I don't want this to come off as judgmental, I really am interested to know what makes a man an abuser? And what besides fear makes a woman stay? Shouldn't the woman be more afraid if she doesn't leave because the next step is him trying to kill someone.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

“The history of the American Negro is the history of this strife,--this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double self into a better and truer self. In this merging he wishes neither of the older selves to be lost. ~ W.E.B Dubois

courtesy of and1grad via twitter....Thank you Sir
I've asked my people so many times in so many different ways to DO Better. Look at yourself, acknowledge your past (and your ancestors) and realize that you are NOT the stereotype, the buffon, the shuck and jive coon, the ABW or ABM YT America demands you to be in order to justify their prejudices. I've done it in words on this blog, to people faces on trains etc...

And then in November the Racist white American nightmare happened A Black, educated suave man became president!! I thought "oh shit now we're going to see some changes" because you can't go around denigrating yourself knowing that the one position in the World no one expected to be held by a black man IS and he has real power!! I didn't expect an overnight change but some gradual shifts towards being a greater people. Kind of like we see when we review history and the civil rights movement. Those people, our people stood tall and proud even against water hoses limited education, and the KKK. So what the f$@k is wrong with this generation.

As I ride the train I see Black men and women so hateful towards each other its sickening. Cursing and fighting... We've got to do better. Kids not prepared for their school day, eating chips and drinking soda for breakfast, We've got to do better. Teenager skantily dressed but not able to complete a full sentence....We've got to do better..Parents yelling and screaming at their kids about NOTHING we've got to do better. I heard a black woman say she didn't really care what Obama had to say to her child, like Why the fuck Not?? CJ is three and his daycare showed the speech to them, and you know what he may not have taken it all in but some of it stuck. How do I know because he keeps asking Mommy remember when Obama was speaking to me about big boy school... HE'S 3!! This woman's son was a freshman in HS.We've got to do better.

I also have to take issue with these entertainers, not their personal lives because really what you do in the comforts of your home has Not a thing to do with me. But your Public meltdowns DO have something to do with me... I don't let TV raise my child and I won't but tons of parents don't regulate what and who their kids think are role models. The best example is This mess with Kanye west from the MTV awards. How dare he interrupt that young woman's speech.. How dare he!!! As Toure stated on Twitter "Kanye was classless. He's way out of control" to which I re-tweeted adding that he will continue to be out of control because people continue to support his crazy. I looked over his grief stricken behavior when his mother passed away but no longer. I can't support disrespectful behavior that in the end fosters the exact stereotypes I work hard to put to rest every day in my corporate world. Kanye has lost a fan (of his music) in me. Why? Because this whole" we rule the world" so we can act a fool shit doesn't fly with me. So deuces Kanye. He didn't only ruin Taylor Swifts moment he took away from Beyonce's moment as well.  Prescription for you Kanye : Lose the dead weight, Yes men, get some meds and a therapist and get your shit together!! ~You've got to do better.
The sad reality though is that if 4 people read this blog, 2 of them will be back to buying Kanye in a few days (or until his next crazy moment). ~We've got to do better!

Then there was Serena and her melltdown, Look I get it but you Serena should have known better! Sure your mad, that little woman with her short legs made a bad call.  But how are you gonna break out your ABW cape and threaten to shove a ball down her throat. You're wrong for that, DEAD Wrong! And then you all up on MTV making Jokey jokes....FAIL ~ We've got to do better!

I could go on and on about this, but you all know where I'm coming from. Our community needs a Man in the Mirror moment, we need some get right and we need it now.

My Girl Smarty feels the same way, listen to her chat about it:

*maybe I'll take my well earned bonus money and buy a few copies of "Assata" and "The Souls of Black Folks" and hand them out to people on the train*

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

"Muhammad Ali was good with words too, but it helped that he could punch people in the faces" ~ Bill Maher

Everyone that reads my blog knows I love all things President Obama, but even my love comes with a conditions (for politicians anyway).My condition is that if you are going to make changes in this ass backwards country then DO it and don't let a bunch of silly naysayers ruin it. I feel like in the last week President Obama hasn't been acting like he is the commander in chief and that his party is the majority in both houses.If he can keep them on his side then who cares what the republican'ts do or say.
First it was Skip Jones and beer-gate, death panels, speaking to kids in schools,  then the firing of Van Jones.....,then health care again.

And clearly I'm not the only one that thinks President Obama needs to really  stand up and forget about what the crazy 30% think about him. So take it away Bill Maher, take it away!


Bill Maher is 100% right, 70% of the population also needs to stand up and tell the race mongers,birther,tea party participants that its time to cut the bull.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

"Every single one of you has something that you're good at. Every single one of you has something to offer,"

The quote above comes directly from our President Barack Obama's speech to the children returning to school this Fall. Now does that sound like ranting, liberal propaganda? Well according to the Republi-can'ts (as well as a whole lot of the"others") it might have been.

I'm confused why anyone would think that after all the positivity President Obama has spread over the last two years he would decide to unleash this master plan of doctrinating the kids of America. Turning all the little rednecks and baby KKK away from their parents and their obviously (in)sane way of thinking... Ok maybe thats too much.Then again No its not, because all the uproar has been lead by the people I described above. The ones that feel their way of living, or the America of their past (as Glenn Beck put it) is in danger of being destroyed. I want to know what way of living he speaks of, the one where my mother couldn't eat at any food counter because of her skin color, or the one that forced so many to pass for white so they could get education... This is not the America I want to look back too and relive. If I look back I want to say WOW we sure have come a long way. When I hear that all of these parents are raising hell over a speech meant to inspire, I have to think that some people in White America are trying to envoke a different fear since the angry Black man didn't work.  Kind of sad don't you think.....

Then there was the speech to Congress this evening about healthcare reform. I can't even see why this is an issue. Sure we should have more of the facts and in the beginning the President wasn't as transparent with the but still why is wanting ALL Americans to be healthy a HUGE deal. First the beef from Republi-can'ts was that taxes would be higher like in Europe, then it was death panels for America's Seniors and ofcourse lets not forget the town hall meetings, where the people of the land of the free gnashed their teeth and started fight after fight.And all in all  it was ALWAYS the same group of people.

Tonight the Republicans showed the Leader of the Free World No Respect, one in particular from the state of South Carolina ( Joe Wilson) who screamed out "You Lie" in the middle of the President's speech. WTH kind of unprofessional BS was that? Is this man old, senile and so we should think he's just a crazy, No!! He just dishonored himself, his state (constituents) and the NATION. There was also a repubican't holding a sifn like he was at F$%king American Idol. The High school freshamn behavior displayed by the left was indeed an embarassment to all. I wonder when both sides are going to get it and realize that no matter what your personal feelings are this is NOT ABOUT YOU, its about what is best for the people of America....And ultimately A Healthy America is BEST for all Americans. Why this is such a foreign thing in this country? The sheer number of contradictions we live by are mind blowing... I can give you a million examples.

Obama has the daddy side eye working, Joe B looks like he wants to cut somebody.
I won't even go into the Representative from Louisiana, when they get the mess that is New Orleans together, get the displaced back in their homes I might give them some time on this blog.

This quote sums up the republican's perfectly:
""When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty." ~ George Bernard Shaw