Friday, February 26, 2010

The Blogger Symphony


I was having a conversation on BBM with Smarty Jones and The Jaded NYer  about the many infractions bloggers commit and a light bulb went off..... Why not do a series of Blogger Etiquette post to inform people how to not get chopped by our machetes offend or upset your fellow bloggers. So every Monday starting next week, there will be one etiquette rule for you to read, ingest and apply to your daily bloggin' life. 

First up: The Lady Smarty Jones, get on the mic and tell  'em why you're so tough:

Thursday, February 25, 2010

All night, every night.....

*kneels down on floor*

Dear Black Jesus,

I know male sexual dysfunction is the end of the world, but really do I need to be bombarded with commercials ALL the live long day!  I was happily watching American Gangster (my guilty pleasure) and taking notes on what not to do when up pops this commercial:

I just can't take it anymore! I don't want to know about these less than attractive, former porn stars and their sex lives, or lack thereof. I also don't want to know that that large chinned woman was thinking now she and her husband could have more fun.
When did we get to the place where we needed to see this on TV, isn't the Internet enough???? And at least if we're going to have to be subjected to it can we get some hot men and women to look at. You know like on Telemundo? I don't think I've ever seen a old gray haired man and his Super-chin wife on Telemundo, its always some sexy something. Let's take a page from there, mmmkay?

I don't ask for much, and since you're not like a genie I guess its ok to use one prayer for this. God Bless my momma, CJ,The Mr. and my entire family.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Allow me 5 minutes on my soapbox: Kids edition

I watched this video on one of the blogs I frequently visit ("A Belle in Brooklyn") after an amazing conversation on Monday Musings with The Jaded Nyer, Brother Omi, 12Kyle and Smarty Jones about the state of Marriage/relationships I was saddened to see these women instill in their young daughters a gold-diggers mentality. Take a look at it:

I have a son and I encourage him to speak to all little kids, I want him to develop socially like his mom (Dad tends to be a hermit). I want him to see girls as his friends first, but if other mom's are teaching their daughters to treat him like a trick at an early age, these moms are going to have a problem with me!! I can just see CJ coming home and telling me that ABC girl told him she needed him to give her a cookie or she wouldn't speak to him. CHILLLLLEEEEEEEEE I'd go off, and then go down to the school...wait let me regroup here.

Is this how we're raising our kids now? To pimp themselves out as early as SEVEN! Teaching your children to value others for what they have (money, high power careers) is a direct path to the town of low self esteem. I know we all joke about marrying up, or marrying older richer men but to we're grown (and silly) the problem with this is that these woman are teaching kids to think of themselves as a commodity. Could this be the lesson some of the hoes we know were taught and that's why they are in the places they're in right now. I don't know, I just know its disturbing to say the least.

 I have to wonder how they find these people and more importantly if you are teaching your daughter's this ignorant mess, why drag them on national TV? I guess some of them see it as a launch for other opportunities, because the girls are super cute but all I can see is how messed up their futures will be if their Mothers don't stop poisoning their minds. Its evident by the grown ass woman on the stage with them that says she'd marry for money ONLY again.

Monday, February 22, 2010

The hoe is just hoe and that's without no controversy.....

So on Friday we ALL watched as Tiger Woods bared his soul and pleaded with the media to let him go to rehab, work on his golf swing problem but most importantly to leave his family alone. Some think Tiger needed to make this apology, I'm not one of them. I said it before I'll say it again, until I'm collecting some of that Tiger Woods ya'll its all good ya'll money, I don't care if he sleeps with every blonde, blue eyed, nanny or cocktail waitress from here to kingdom come. He didn't owe America an apology, he didn't cheat on us. So what kids look up to him, take your boys aside and show them this is what being a man whore gets you and move on. Some say the tabloids will look at like there is no other story,WRONG. Tabloids don't just uncover secrets, they create them so for the most part,Tiger played himself *shrugs*

Despite my long winded introduction this post is not about him, its about that hoes in his stable. Right after Tiger's apology, one of his mistresses and her attorney decided to speak out. I wasn't going to watch it at first, but I'm glad I did because clearly this woman is tripping! Here's the press conference if you missed it:

First off why does she have an attorney? I mean I get it Hoes gotta eat too but this is some real BS. Why in the world would the married man you were sleeping with call you to apologize? What's he apologizing for, treating you like a jumpoff? UH that's what you are!!! It doesn't matter if you were sleeping with him for 6 years, that he flew you out to every tournament he were still a side piece.  You gave up your lucrative porn career because the married man you were F$%King said he was jealous, WORD? Did you counter that by tell him he had to leave his wife because you were jealous, and he did it? NO so clearly all this love you had for him was a one way street, all he loved from you was your accessibility. The only apology that is owed is from your self-esteem because clearly it deserted you when you needed it the most. Now we all know that this woman (above) wasn't the only one or Tiger wouldn't have even made the news. So what now are they all going to demand a meet and greet, should it be at the White house hosted by Obama? I mean for Christ sake already, know your lane and you don't end up in this kind of mess. It's not like you didn't know he was married, the world saw that happen, we saw his wife at golf events, didn't you get the clue that he wasn't in love with you when 1,2,3 years passed by? Or how about when they had a second child? I just don't get how a woman gets so wrapped up in the D, they forget oh snap ain't even all mine!


Now my biggest issue with this press conference besides the sheer lunacy of it all is that she continuously refers to Elin Woods by her first name and even says the kids name.  They are not friends, associates, you are the woman that has participated in the destruction of her marriage and now after all this you need to show some damn respect, and leave their names out your mouth. Just plain old RUDE. I was more offended by that then anything else. She could have just said she didn't want to hurt his family, actually she didn't need to say anything about them at all her relationship was with TIGER only. This is the kind of mess that will get you stabbed.
It seems to be me that lately a lot of this is going on, and I'm wondering why? You can't be mad at a man that only gives you the minimum if you that's all you ask of him. What happen to saying oh you're married, well I'm out. I feel like women are getting desperate, desperate for any kind of male attention so they take the side piece gig, build another story in their heads about the situation and then act out when he's caught and chooses his wife. It seems that so many of these women are having a break with reality. If he comes and apologizes but still doesn't leave his wife are you OK with that? Probably not.
What if you completely embarrass him by doing this?
do you think he'll come back? And if he does (which he won't), is that really the man you want? Ugh I'm done. Women I need ya'll to go to the table of self-esteem, take a big heaping plate of it and stop getting sucked in by foolishness and the D. 

*throws down mic*

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Playing with Picasa

Ohhh look at my baby, I did this while I was trying to figure out that God awful Word Press. WHY won't it let me be great! Blogger is so much simpler.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Allow me 5 minutes on my soapbox

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH PEOPLE! Instead of a fact I thought I'd grace you with my favorite Langston Hughes Poem. Enjoy!
"Negro Speaks of Rivers"
I've known rivers:
I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the
flow of human blood in human rivers
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young
I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it.
I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln
went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy
bosom turn all golden in the sunset
I've known rivers:
Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers


Now on with the post...This week Black women have found more than one reason to be angry but at the WRONG THING!

On Monday my Twitter timeline was flooded with messages about Wale. I thought oh cool he's got a new video out and then I started actually reading the tweets. So it seems Wale cast his video "Pretty Girl" with all light skinnv video hoes models, and dark skin women were all in a rage about this. UHM REALLY? Black women this is a pressing issue? We don't have enough issues to address as the society? The thing is, its not so much the light vs. dark skin issue but who gets to shake their ass in a video. Where does that fit in the "OH shit we've made it totem pole"? Do I need to start watching videos, to see how many women are darker than a paper bag? And who do I report these stats too? Should we log them right up there with the first Black President? I'm beyond confused.

Here's one Tweet I saw:
not 1single dark skin girl n "Pretty Girls"? WACK! Chocolate girls r exotic 
*Really girl you need something to do with your life, a spelling class might be a good idea*

I like Wale, have never seen one video because I stay away but I needed to look this one up, take a look:

Well now I'm not sure what video these women were watching but I saw two darker skin women and two plus size, So uhm that makes all the ranting invalid. Then I saw this angry rant from this woman:

Is this woman serious? She's offended because of a video? We as Black women need to boycott and not watch. So women that look like me are not degrading themselves and I'm suppose to be mad.  And how many times did she say Wale is African, the beat is African?

Then Wed John Mayer decided to be get in on the game, and said he's not that into Black women. And  guess what TWITTER BLEW UP!  Women were MAD MAD MAD. None of them were mad that he disrespected Black people as a whole by throwing the word Ni99er around or that he associated this so called "hood-pass" with being a Ni99er. NOPE, all they cared about is that he didn't want to zoom a zoom in their boom boom. Where is the issue here people? He's not attracted to Black Women, there is nothing wrong with that. I personally am not attracted to white men (well with the exception of two) but for the most part I'm not. So am I racist? NO I have a preference. Now if I run around twitter, FB shouting I ain't got no love for a cracker ass cracker,  or Kill the white people you might have a leg to stand on, otherwise shut up about it already. 

The deeper issue here is why are we looking to videos and musicians for validation on who we are? Maybe all the women that were in an uproar over this need to look in the mirror and inward to get validation. Look to your ancestry, look to your mothers. Not to some dude whose a notorious douche, or a rapper. I am a beautiful Black WOMAN I knew this when I was 6, 15, 21, and now at 35 and no video is going to change that. My mother, grandmother, aunts and uncles instilled this in me, not B.E.T, MTV or VH1. In my opinion the only thing we need to do is stop allowing TV to make us believe we are not good enough. 


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

How stupid are you let me count the ways.......

This Black History Month  I want the young people to remember why we are a great people. I want them to celebrate the struggle, our history and channel that into something positive to pass to future generations. So in an effort to help them out, here are some suggestions on WHAT NOT TO DO!

Example #1: Are these matching tattoos really necessary? No so STOP. It's pure foolishness. You will not be able to get a REAL job with these. And Why does the chick on the right have so many damn ear piercings?

Example #2: If you can't remember your name why not just look at your drivers license or ID. No one is going to see this as an acceptable form of identification so its not worth much. And where do you think you will be able to lift up your shirt other than the club. Let's use some common sense. OKAY 

Example #3: Refer to example #1 in terms of career path. Now Mr. Libra + stars. Its cool that astrology is your thang. I ain't mad at ya...ok I lie I am mad at you. You want to know about your astrological sign just take some time to look it up in the paper and STARS like Rihannna, Sheep the lot of you!

Example#4: So you want to be a Boss, I blame Ne-Yo, Fabulous and Jamie Foxx for leading some of you birds to believe you are A BOSS. I swear to white Jesus if this was someone I knew I'd lay into them so hard UGH! And What Boss is going to get a Tramp stamp? HUH? And the stretch marks. *singing Jesus keep me near the cross* Somebody get this child and her children.
So now that you know what not to do, apply and spread the word. Because I swear before all that is Holy if I see anyone walking around with this mess its not going to be pretty.

*Thank You Mizinspiredmind for fueling my rage*

Monday, February 1, 2010

History is a guide to navigation in perilous times. History is who we are and why we are the way we are.

Today is the first day of Black History month and what better way to kick if off then with some facts. Yes I know some of you think Beyonce is Black Culture *rolls eyes, and sucks teeth* Well she's not! So here goes your first fact:

Sports related:

One of the first African-Americans to play in the PGA was Dewey Brown. He became a member of the PGA in 1928. Brown learned the game as a caddie and became a renowned club designer and teacher during the 1920s and 30s. He even crafted a set of clubs for President Warren G. Harding. In 1934, the PGA terminated Brown's membership because they found out he was African-American. During the six years he was a member, everyone assumed he was white because of his light skin color.

Brown was not the only black American in the golf world in the early part of last century. George Grant, a dentist from Boston, designed the first golf tee registered by the United States Patent Office in 1899. John Shippen was the first black American to play in the United States Open, in 1896, even though some competitors threatened to withdraw. And Joseph Bartholomew, a noted architect, designed and built more than a half-dozen golf courses in the New Orleans area. But because he was black, Bartholomew was not allowed to play on the courses he built.

So Tiger, next time you shout out being 'Blasian remember there were Black men there before you.