Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Boo why you doing so much...

We all have that one person in our lives we want to ask the title of this post to.  He/She is loud, asks insane questions in inappropriate settings, looks down their nose at you, and if you've been friends for awhile they get pleasure in reminding you of mistakes. Their disguise for this" keeping  it real" because they love you. But if you do the same, they either get their panties in a bunch or they shut down.   I'll wait while you figure out who this is in your life.....

If you watch the Real housewives of NYC, Ramona is that person. Even when the situation at hand has nothing to do with her she finds a way to get in the middle and "keep it real". But really she's just a judgmental, slightly insecure woman. (Now let's not get judging and the act of being judgmental confused, we all judge its what you do with that makes it ugly. ) Instead of focusing on her issues, this woman makes a point to make everyone else uncomfortable until most times No one wants to be around them.

My Ramona, was a friend of many years who after tons of BS, missed brunches, parties, and mad excuses I had to cut her off. She made a point of ALWAYS bringing up things that she had no business discussing with others, even when she called herself bragging about me there was always some backhanded compliment involved. I never felt like having access pass to my life entitled you to chat about it leisurely, especially since I only share with friends. Too many times I had to giver her the side eye just because she didn't know how to shut up.

On The Jaded Nyer's show last night I was asked why do I think people stay in these toxic relationships? My answer was I don't know why, but I guess that's not entirely true. On some levels I guess I thought me being in her life might make her change, and try to be a better person. We came from very different backgrounds and I guess after talking to other friends and them telling me I SHOULD be there for her, she needed a friend like me, I kind of listened and stuck around. I can't front when she wanted to be a good friend she was, but more times than not she wasn't a good friend at all and as time went on and I grew up, and matured she started to drain me. She was hardly ever happy, which meant we spent hours on hours hashing over her problems and I just stopped wanting to be her rock. So I cut her off.  The funny thing is when I cut her off she called me judgmental and selfish. That was the final nail in the coffin of that friendship and I haven't looked back (even when I saw her at Wingate concerts and The Purple Rain sing along).

So the questions stands....Why do people like this feel like they have to do so much? Aren't there better ways to get attention? how about working on your self esteem so that you can uplift the people around you instead of dragging them into the abyss with you?

Do you have a Ramona? If so why is he/she still in your life? Why haven't you rid yourself of him/her? Let's Talk it out in the comment section.


** oh if you want the back story on her go here: "Friendship lost"**

Monday, March 29, 2010

Social Etiquette

What would the world be like if we all just ran around acting like animals? It would be horrible that's what. The same goes for the blogging, today my consigliere Smarty Jones is helping you with the fine points of being a better Blogger. Skip on over and show her some love:

Comments to a Minimum, Thank You!

This message is brought to you by:

Last night when I wrote this post CJ was still awake, he's decided that a gun should not be our Logo. He suggested a baseball bat, Me thinks he has the makings of a good enforcer.

Monday, March 22, 2010

What's Beef....

"Beef is oil prices and geopolitics
Beef is Iraq, the West Bank, and Gaza Strip
Some beef is big and some beef is small
But what y'all call beef is no beef at all... "~Mighty Mos Def

 In the two years I've been blogging I've watched some of my fellow bloggers get involved in Beefs (now its twitter beef), and I don't get it. When I write on this blog I write what I feel and nothing else. I don't turn it down or tune it up for a response, I state my truth and that's it. So why would you then want to start a virtual war because you don't like what I have to say? Just don't come back. Subsequently why would I stop and write entire post about what kind of loser you are? I look at it like this:

1. Do I even really know you? Maybe I do but my real life and virtual life run the same course you bring drama, you get cut.


2. If I state my feelings about a topic, your comments are welcome but why come over here being disrespectful? I'll respond in a respectful manner and I might even get the rest of the S.M.M to respond but Beef? No Thanks.

3. If we've met in person and you call yourself not liking me,make your life easier by just staying away from me.

4. There are enough weirdos on the Internet why not go stalk/beef and act the fool on their blogs?

So in short take this as a warning,you might want not like what I say, how I say it or even when I say it but come over here and you will be blocked. I have a life and those of you that indulge in beef over the Internet need to get one.





Monday, March 15, 2010

SMM continues

The next installment of " Bloggers Etiquette" will be taught to you by none other than El Generalissimo. Some of you may be familiar with her wicked Tiger Style, and machete wielding madness. She also has great lessons on how to be a more effective parent, but today she's teaching you how to be a better blogger.

Go, Read, LEARN, BLOG! 











Thursday, March 11, 2010

Home is where I want to be...

Random title for a random post:

Well this blog is two years old, and I'm ashamed to say I totally let it get pass me. FOR SHAME!

I'm applying to schools for CJ, fun it is NOT. I tweeted about it to keep from throwing a fit

30K for a half day for a 3yrs old. What the hell am I doing in finance, the money is clearly in babies.

I want to have CJ closer to me during the day, but traveling on PT w/him make me nervous. (Confessions of a Mom)
I don't always have the answers but I have strong opinions that I will share.

Twitter has really taken on a life of its own, I follow some great people.

Lately I've been craving red meat, which is weird since I haven't had it since '93.

No damn it I'm not pregnant.

Why do so many black women love curly weaves?

Why do all men look the same to me lately, skinny jeans, argyle sweater etc..? They all look like versions of Kanye West

Speaking of Kanye, I don't like this pic of Amber Rose posinglike Grace Jones. I prefer the original.


I'm reading Nuture shock and all I can say is Whoa parents really screw up their kids (unintentionally of course).

I'm still working on my mommy blog, its going to fun writing that. The first post is how I realized I was pregnant.

CJ is my heart, I'd do anything for him within reason. I think that's how parents should be.

I need a vacation before I serve as a bridesmaid in two weddings this year the Bahamas is my choice.

How many licks does it take...wait wrong post.

I'm so mad at Hip Hop right now, what the fluck is a wacka flocko and a Nicki Minaj. Pure Wackness that's what it is.

And who the hell green lighted this mess:

they should be shot in the leg and forced to listen to this mess over and over again.





SO Diddy came across the Bridge and there was much hoopla, and all the skanks of Brooklyn managed to get their best too small, extra smedium  gear and went out to rep for Biggie.

I was momentarily blind from all the pics.

The local train is so much quieter, I can here my thoughts.

The last five months I've been slip sliding away. I won't talk about that, because I'm finally feeling like myself again.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Your Blogger Etiquette lesson continues...... NOW

Next up I believe that's me.....

Last week my fellow blogger and syndicate member Smarty Jones schooled you on the first rule of being a successful blogger, if you missed it head over here: NO SWAGGER JACKING. I hope you all have mastered this rule and are ready to move on to the next one.

I haven't posted daily like I use to mainly because life just gets the best of me and I'd rather go to sleep or post to twitter quickly and be done.  So when I do write a post, it takes a lot out of me. I often have thoughts on how my topic will be received, how to take a serious topic and make it lighter or funny, when I'm done I'm drained. I hit that orange publish button,leaving the rest up to my loyal readers (new readers too) to comment. Yes COMMENT. I don't mind if people lurk,I've done it. Hell I still do it from time to time on new blogs and on some of my favorites. I may not comment because at the moment I don't feel like I have the words to express my feelings,so  in those situations I don't leave asinine, unrelated comments... This my friend is the second rule.

Come, read, lurk whatever but if you leave a  comment, leave one about the post the blogger poured his/her soul into. Don't read the post and then leave the link to your own blog,unless its directly related to the post. Don't leave poems, spam or any thing else that's not related to what you just read. Here's an examples:

This was a serious issue and there was actually a real dialogue going on about race in my comment section and then came the Chinese spammers. RUDE! I usually delete the spam comments but now I just leave them to serve as a reminder of what not to do. The last Don't is the most important, if you're going to be take someone to task on their opinion then be grow a pair and sign in with your username, Anonymous is for suckers.  In my world its a kin to wearing a white sheet over your head.

I get it we all want people to read what we've written, and we all can be comment-whores but no one wants to read comments that have absolutely nothing to do with their work. It's just a fact! So in keeping with the rules above let's be considerate of our fellow Bloggers time and work.....or else




Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Toddlers Life

March will be the last month I'll be sharing stories about my sweetums CJ on this blog. I've decided to start a mommy blog but since Word Press won't let me be great it's taking a little longer than I thought to get it up and running...Boo WordPress Boo. Alright on with the show:

Last Week:
 Thursday: CJ discovered the joys of the Muppet show, and he loves them. I was just tired of all the other shows he wanted to watch and since he's so intrigued with the computer and can basically navigate sites one you get him on the page I let him have a go.... OH BOY, somehow I forgot he was a toddler and well I've been hearing this song for every morning:



Specifically The part where Animal sings Mama, Mama MAMA!

And then Friday when we were snowed in and I was trying to work from home, he decided that this one would make a great background song while I was on a conference call;

After the conference call I decided to take him out for an hour so he could roll around in the snow and I could clean off the car. We had a ball, even though I had to make all the snowballs he hit me with. Then we went inside and he took a 3hr nap.Just enough time for me to return a few calls and answer emails. This my friend is what we call PARENTAL GENIUS!

The weekend was relatively uneventful, Just relaxing as a family which is always nice. Then came Monday.
Monday conversation with my little bit:

CJ: *singing* I bust the windows out your car, and though it didn't mean my heart
ME: CJ what are you singing?
CJ: Bust Windows, *continues singing*
ME: Where did you learn that song?
CJ: From Glee with Kiarra. Mommy why is she busting windows out cars?
ME: Because she's mad.
CJ:Mommy people don't get mad they get angry, Dogs get mad ( I blame my mom for this) 
ME:Ok she's angry
CJ: why?Did her mommy take her DS?
ME: No she's angry....*thinking why am I having this discussion with a 3yr old* that's all she's angry
CJ: Well I'd call the police, I love my car!

I just let it at that. This child has too much damn sense for a 3 year old.
Then later that night he decided he should pretend to be a Viking and asked me "Mommy what's in your wallet?" I sent him to bed.

Sometimes I think CJ watches too much TV but that's not really true, he's just really observant and picks up things quickly. So the only thing we can do is make sure he isn't exposed to anything crazier than Jazmine Sullivan.

Ah parenthood, gotta love it!
And

Boys Need to Stop, check this list and then check the mirror......

 
Don't be these dudes. hahahah

I don't usually get into men's fashion, I leave that to the men but there are just somethings I can't stand:

*really heavy set dudes in skinny pants. WHY? If your belly is hanging over so far that you can't see your feet, SKINNY jeans are not for you. All they do is squeeze you in at the bottom and make you plumper at the top.

*wearing a do-rag in public.  Its for sleeping, or running across the street to grab milk because you need it to make pancakes. But Not for everyday all day wear. And if you have long hair what's the point?

*heavily sculpted thin brows. You are not a contestant on RuPaul's Drag race so stop it!

*cropped jackets, I mean I can barely stand to see women in them. BUT BOYS NO NO NO. Damn it!

*shoes leaning to the side. Doesn't anyone teach their girls to look at a mans shoes these days? Run down shoes keep it moving.
* ED F$*king hardy. I'm just going to write your sparkle glitterati ass off as not interested in what I have. Even though you keep blowing me kisses, I'm going to just point you in the direction of the dude next to me.

*nail polish on one finger, what is that? I can't.

*too small EVERYTHING! Look I don't care about Skinny jeans if they are your size then do you. BUT wearing them too small w/your butt hanging out NO MAS! Trousers that are so tight that when you sit they look like they are going to split  You can't be comfortable and  you make me uncomfortable, just yeast infection uncomfortable Bleecch!

I think that's it! So boys get it together. No self respecting girl is going to want to be bothered with the mess you are right now.