Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Boo why you doing so much...

We all have that one person in our lives we want to ask the title of this post to.  He/She is loud, asks insane questions in inappropriate settings, looks down their nose at you, and if you've been friends for awhile they get pleasure in reminding you of mistakes. Their disguise for this" keeping  it real" because they love you. But if you do the same, they either get their panties in a bunch or they shut down.   I'll wait while you figure out who this is in your life.....

If you watch the Real housewives of NYC, Ramona is that person. Even when the situation at hand has nothing to do with her she finds a way to get in the middle and "keep it real". But really she's just a judgmental, slightly insecure woman. (Now let's not get judging and the act of being judgmental confused, we all judge its what you do with that makes it ugly. ) Instead of focusing on her issues, this woman makes a point to make everyone else uncomfortable until most times No one wants to be around them.

My Ramona, was a friend of many years who after tons of BS, missed brunches, parties, and mad excuses I had to cut her off. She made a point of ALWAYS bringing up things that she had no business discussing with others, even when she called herself bragging about me there was always some backhanded compliment involved. I never felt like having access pass to my life entitled you to chat about it leisurely, especially since I only share with friends. Too many times I had to giver her the side eye just because she didn't know how to shut up.

On The Jaded Nyer's show last night I was asked why do I think people stay in these toxic relationships? My answer was I don't know why, but I guess that's not entirely true. On some levels I guess I thought me being in her life might make her change, and try to be a better person. We came from very different backgrounds and I guess after talking to other friends and them telling me I SHOULD be there for her, she needed a friend like me, I kind of listened and stuck around. I can't front when she wanted to be a good friend she was, but more times than not she wasn't a good friend at all and as time went on and I grew up, and matured she started to drain me. She was hardly ever happy, which meant we spent hours on hours hashing over her problems and I just stopped wanting to be her rock. So I cut her off.  The funny thing is when I cut her off she called me judgmental and selfish. That was the final nail in the coffin of that friendship and I haven't looked back (even when I saw her at Wingate concerts and The Purple Rain sing along).

So the questions stands....Why do people like this feel like they have to do so much? Aren't there better ways to get attention? how about working on your self esteem so that you can uplift the people around you instead of dragging them into the abyss with you?

Do you have a Ramona? If so why is he/she still in your life? Why haven't you rid yourself of him/her? Let's Talk it out in the comment section.


** oh if you want the back story on her go here: "Friendship lost"**

3 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

I'm familiar with this situation of "doing too much" but I'm so non-confrontational... or passive aggressive... you decide LOL

ShellyShell said...

I have a Ramona! And her name is Maddy. There was a crew of four of us and Maddy always was flip wih the mouth but she was a good person(or so we thought). Maddy was the first one of us to get married and we were all in her wedding. The way she handled her wedding and the shear disregard for all of our feelings was too much for me to let go. I cussed her ass clean the eff out and vowed not to speak to her. Two years went by and she called me out of the blue to say she's changed and that my not talking to her led her to therapy(beyatch needed it waaaaay b4 my cuss out). One of the other girls in the crew begged me to take her back as a friend. I did.....MISTAKE! While the friendship went well for another three years in 2006 it just became too much! She became reckless with the mouth again and that was it for me. I haven't spoke to her in four years and I'm ok with it! Back in September the same girl who begged me to be her Maddy's friend asked me to call Maddy to let her know her father had passed away. Lawd knows I didn't want to call the beyatch but under the circumstances I knew it was the right thing to do. Well, this beyatch didn't answer the phone. I left her a message telling her that Mica's father passed away and to call her and left Mica's numbers. You know this beyatch text me2 min later. That shyt solidified to me why I don't eff with her. Mica's wedding is this September and I'll run into Maddy. I have already promised Mica that I wouldn't let her get at me because I would NEVER ruin her day. But I promised everyone if this beyatch says some sideways shit. I WILL DRAG HER FAT ASS OUTSIDE AND STOMP HER OUT ON THE SLY!

I know this was long as hell! LOL!

Video Vix[o]n said...

(my first comment on your blog lady :) )

well we all have that "Ramona" in our lives. I have encountered many Ramonas while at college, that weren't necessarily my friends, but just went in for no reason, on some "damn son, was all that necessary?" people are always gonna talk out their faces or say some sideways nonsense; that's human nature, some ppl talk like they know ish cuz they want to be bigger and holier than thou, but it eventually bites them in the arse... thats the movie of our lives that we have to live, i guess. pull out the scissors and keep it moving...