Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I want a relationship.

I have an announcement to make before I start in on this post.

The Ladies of the Social Media Mafia have taken it upon themselves to remind you that as Women we have laws too, and  as Ladies we need to abide by them. Last week I started with woman law #1 "Be a better friend" , this week my fellow S.M.M cohort  Bangs and a Bun would like to speak to you about being a lady.... Woman Law # 2 Being a Lady. Show the lady some comment love. And by God please stop slouching!!


Yesterday on twitter I had a conversation with @Butta_Fly that  I found a little disturbing. Not because of what she said but because this seems to be the mind set of many single women (not to mention some attached women). The conversation started when @WisdomisMisery asked how long women keep the jerk around as opposed to the good guy to which she replied that the jerk stayed around longer.  *PAUSE* I don't mind a little joking when it comes to male/female relations but this tweet seemed not to be a joke. So I jumped in....I'm not going to give you the back and forth, you can just check my timeline from Tuesday, but the conversation ended on what I would consider a sour note. 

It seems to me that women want a relationship at any cost! No one wants to work for the better, they just think that a King is waiting for them and well if he turns out to be a frog, it's only temporary. No Ladies, the only thing temporary should be your tolerance for Bullshit. If you're 6 months dating a man and the best he's ever done was show his ass with nasty comments and non-dates (thank you Smarty and Reina for explaining ) you are either going to demand better or get the F$%K up outta dodge.  You don't stay around because the sex is mind blowing, or he's rich because in the end he's going to leave you anyway and you'll be mentally scared and left to deal with it. 

I've said this 1000 times a day to my single friends, you have more power than you think you do in a relationship. I never believed that until an older man I use to work with to me, "If women really paid attention to the power they hold this world would be different" That never left me, not on Wall Street, and not at home. I hold the cards to my happiness and on occasions the people (MEN) around me.  I hear a lot of women saying that it's all about sex when it comes to the man their dating, but you hold the key to  that gate, not a man. If you don't want it that way, change the focus, he's either going to leave or stay. I'm sure a lot of you have heard (and used) the term  Pu$$Y power. Well the power is not just what you do with it in bed, I'm just saying. 

There are a few things you need to remember about a relationship but the most important thing is that you deserve better and you WANT better. Stop focusing all your energy on being "wifed" up and look at being happy with that as a possibility. 

Listen to Heathcliff Huxtable ladies, if a man is serving you a steak on a garbage can top do you want to eat it? Probably not.... The same goes for your relationship.(start at 8:27)


Reina said...

This should be a #womanlaw post. I was witness to the back and forth b/w you and ButtaFlyy yesterday, but it didn't shock me. A lot of women feel the same way she does. I've dated my share of assholes, and they don't turn into Prince Charming. The way they began the relationship is the way they'll stay. We women would rather stay in a futile relationship trying to change a man rather than be alone and find out why we keep fighting a brick wall.

P Power is not a myth, and it has nothing to do with your bedroom prowess. We women decide what we tolerate, not him.

Smarty P. Jones said...

Nice post! I have yet to tap into my power, as you ladies call it, but if you've never been aware of it, you can't expect us to just realize it one day and morph into the Almighty Isis the next. It's a process, as both of you know in dealing with me.

At this point, the only thing we can do is move forward from where we are and try our best to accept the power which has been given to us and walk into our own strength. That's where you ladies and other like you come in. We need your help.

I can't speak for Butta_Flyy, but I can speak for me, I'm trying. Hopefully with you ladies' patience and guidance, I'll get better.

Irene said...

When I was a young girl, this may have been the case. But now that I am a woman...NUH to the fucking UH.

I have no time for bullshit. My life is too valuable to be spent on lousy dudes. I'd very much rather be single than be in a suck-ass relationship.

ShellyShell said...

Good Post. You know how I felt about The Teacher but he just couldn't and can't give me what I need. Never an asshole but just emotionally retarded. After 3 years I've thrown in the towel....for real! Although when I see him I do like to rub his abs...lmbao!
But now I have Zumunda who treats me with every bit of the respect I deserve and is NOT emotionally retarded and wants the same things I do. No, he doesn't have the dope Calvin Klein body that the Teacher has but he goes out of his way for me and that's what's impt to me!

*shit did I just write this. I'm growing the eff up*