Thursday, July 29, 2010

Things I'm kicking around

It's Thursday and time for another installment of #WomansLaw.

How many times have you met a friend at a restaurant, a club and as you approached thought "What in the name of Diana Ross is she wearing?" What now? Do you tell your friend that they look like they could be featured on "People of Walmart",well if you are a real friend you do. Which bring me to today's law  "Friends don't let Friends wear junk" is brought to you by Smarty (Smarty's World)...
Go,Read, Learn.

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I live in one of the greatest cities in the world, and by far one of the most expensive. On Sunday, I spent time with my friend Claudia just kicking around ideas,  I shared with her a feature about dining on a budget in this city. Of course being such an  AWESOME friends she was like DO IT! (It's nice to have cheerleaders)

I'm frugal but I like to have satisfying meals, and I've been known to make $40 last an entire week without ever eating pizza or a $5 foot long, so I'm going to share that knowledge. Once a week I'll share my latest find in the city that never sleeps but loves to eat. The goal: Healthy on the go meals for under $10.  The only downfall to this is my strict diet (no red meat or pork) so I may enlist a friend to try those items and then write about it.

I've also started writing book reviews for Kitty Bradshaw, here is my first review: Souls of my Young Sisters.  The next review is on William Young's "The Shack" I wrote about how that book changed my way of thinking here: Be faithful . I said on twitter it's proven hard to write this review but I will have it done and posted. I was trying to wait for my logo so I can paste it in the email but that's a few days off. My goal is to do one per month.
I've done a few other pieces but right now I want to focus on my new look, the feature and the reviews. So this is what I'm kicking around. Go read my reviews and hit me up on Shalena Diva.com.

Lastly, I've finally got a new logo and it is AWESOME! Daddy Unmasked on twitter gave me the best advice on who to look for, how to describe my vision and most importantly how to deal on pricing. Thank You Sir. I will be vamping up my site next week and for the first time I'm actually really excited!

So as you see I have a lot going on and it seems very little time. But I'm from Brooklyn nothing can stop me.







Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Just a rant.....

I think I chose my friends carefully, I don't let just any and everyone into my life. Sure I'm happy, fun, flirty and talkative but I know how to limit what information I share. In the last few weeks I've been re-evaluating some of the people I've let into my circle based on drama factor and made the decision to pull back a little. When I say pull back, I don't mean I'm just straight up iggin' people (I'm not that rude) but I do mean that casual conversation is limited, and I may or may not answer your call depending on how I feel (and I almost always answer). I also planned on re-evaluating my decision if the craziness that surrounded these people eased off. This group of people aren't ones I've shared a lot with, never been to their homes, or hung out all the time, they are friends that I know from different circles. I am fine with the decision to limit how and when I speak to these people, but apparently some of them have issues with that.

Yesterday one of the guys I pulled back from reached out to me, but instead of outright asking me what was up, he tried to manipulate me into telling him why I was in his words "so unhappy".  The things that were thrown at me prior to this question were unfounded and without truth so by the time we actually got to the question I was furious. I won't go into the details of the failed manipulation, but I will say that friendships whether grand or small should not be used as a weapon. I guess this person (now I'm finding out) is so use to people being afraid of him that he thought the same of me, well clearly he is was never real friend of mine, because beside God and the Devil (and the occasional small person) I don't fear people just because. I let the person know that it's not all the other false accusations that he was worried about, just that I have barely said two words in the last two weeks, I don't have to explain myself but he has to respect my decision and I left it at that.

I know I'm a good friend. And those that are in my most inner circle from youth to this phase in my life know that. But the same way I treat you, I expect back and with this persons behavior yesterday I've decided not to only pull back but to close the door forever. I've see his true colors and that's enough for me.



Friday, July 23, 2010

Random NYC at it's finest

I was all set to do a post on Black women and their continued hair issues, whether it be relaxed, weaved, or natural. There is too much judgement being thrown at people in every group and it's STUPID it's just hair!

I was watching the news when I started the post, and the reporters announced that Restaurant Week has now been extended to Restaurant Summer. Yes you heard right, several of the restaurants have agreed to extend the deals to Labor Day!  Six weeks of fantastic five star three course meals for Applebees prices. I no longer have any focus or want to talk hair, we can get back to that later, so I'll just post my favorite Hair response song and you can listen while I make reservations!



Just listen to Andre at 2:44


Now question is every ni**a with dreads for the cause?
Is every ni**a with golds for the fall? Naw
So don't get caught in appearance




I'm off to eat, while you all  think about that.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم)

The title of this post is easily recognizable and translated to "Peace be upon you", unfortunately the people of NYC are acting like the people of NY State and bringing their racist, Anti-Islamic views to the streets. And not letting peace be

If you haven't already heard, an Islamic group is interested in knocking down a building near ground zero and replacing it with a Mosque. This has stirred up the 9/11 die-hards, and venom is being directed at Muslims and Islamic culture. Many are protesting, sitting in at town hall meetings just to scream that this would be a disrespect to everyone that was killed in the 9/11 terror attacks.

Rick Lazio, the Rep candidate for Governor has gone as far as asking for all groups involved with building the Mosque, be investigated for illegal behavior and any know association with terrorist. *Le Sigh* It's getting UGLY again, UGLY I SAY.  I worked in the twin towers, Tower 2 on the 69th floor (one floor below where the building was hit) for 5 years and just 10 months before resigned from my firm. On September 11th I stood in front of building two and watched as the second plane flew right into the building, I watched people jump from the building, I watched people scramble through the streets trying to escape the devastation, I WAS THERE. Not only was I there but I lost two friends to this terrorist attack, one of which was a Muslim! YES Muslims died in the attacks, so did Hindus, Koreans, Chinese, African No one was untouched.

Then everyone's favorite walking comedy skit... Oh wait you probably don't care for her either so let me say her name Sarah Palin.. chimed in with the following tweets.
  1. Peace-seeking Muslims, pls understand, Ground Zero mosque is UNNECESSARY provocation; it stabs hearts. Pls reject it in interest of healing



  2. Peaceful New Yorkers, pls refute the Ground Zero mosque plan if you believe catastrophic pain caused @ Twin Towers site is too raw, too real

Ugh besides the fact that I just think she's annoying, why is she asking people to say no to a place of worship?  They don't want to build this Mosque in the foot prints of the building, the building is a block away. Why can't we look at the building of the Mosque as a way of healing, because the relations with the Islamic community needs healing as well. But you know what none of that sells, She can't make her place as the Tea-baggers party leader if she doesn't say ridiculous things. When Timothy McVeigh, a homegrown terrorist blew up those buildings I didn't see anyone rallying saying all young white men were evil, or threats being sent out to all white neighborhoods or churches. NO he was an individual. He did not turn all white men into hood wearing killers (hehe, that came out wrong), and the reasons are as clear as the nose on my face! What we're experiencing now is yet another form of racism, just disguised by an American tragedy.  A tragedy that had an affect on EVERY NYer regardless of race, religion, sex. And it's time for all of us to remember that! Every Muslim in the world is not a a religious radical looking to take down this country from the inside out.

I beg of all involved to stop perpetuating hate against an entire culture /religion and placing the mask of 9/11 over it. The people that committed this horrific event spread enough hate let's not continue the madness. I also need Americans to remember for a quick second the principles in which this country was founded, one being religious freedom!

I WAS THERE, I REMEMBER, I'LL NEVER FORGET but I can FORGIVE. I believe my friends that were killed on that day would be disgraced by the hate being used in their names. Think about that.



Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I am woman hear me roar.....


 In the last month some rather unusual name calling has been happening in the blogsphere. After commenting on Smarty's World post on the role the church plays in women being single, the author of the article seemed to disagree with me and called me a male identified woman. Really? This baffled mean and it got me to thinking about modern day feminist

The feminist movement was centered around gaining basic rights for women. Rights they had been denied simply because of their sex.  The work done in the past has ensured that the women of my generation would be allowed an equal footing against their male counterparts in the work field (that battle continues) and release them from the domestic world. They challenged the system and made changes.  Some were glamorous, some were hippies but they all served one goal, the betterment of women. Their work made it so that I as a woman could have an opinion without attack.

I believe that wanting women to be the best them, and ditching the scapegoat  of slackish behavior makes me as much a feminist as a bra burning Hippie of the 60's. But somewhere in this bizzaro world (oops was that comic book reference to male identified) a feminist is just suppose to be all Viva la Feminism even if the behavior serves as a detriment to the entire sex...how does this make sense? Perfect example are all the women that have recently rallied around Kat Stacks, believing that she is taking control of her sexuality,  by sleeping with a multitude of rappers and bragging on youtube. I'm sorry but I can't get behind that. She's not taking back anything, if anything she is giving away her self respect and dooming herself to a life of regret. My stance on Kat Stacks in the eyes of new age feminist is wrong. They'd like me to say oh she's misguided, hurt by some man in the past, all of which is probably true, but in my world that does not excuse her behavior.

Somewhere between free love, bra burning, equal compensation, working outside the home we as Women  decided that being less feminine is a good thing. It's evident with the slew of books that have come out recently telling women to think like men, but really all its done is crippled us. It allows for certain traits to be deemed "woman-like" and therefore weak. On the other hand if we think like men then we are strong and capable. In my opinion that is exactly what makes us weak. I would prefer instead that women start owning their own bull, and using their female instinct to stop getting caught in the trap. Now if we as woman had no power then we'd have no responsibility, that however is no longer the case.  And when one of our own suggest maybe we as women play a part in our own downfall, we are attacked, called names. This doesn't ring of being a feminist, it rings of ignorance and self denial.

I'm sure tons of people will disagree with my thoughts on how you become a better woman, and that's fine, but leave the name calling in the playground. I'm always up for a healthy debate but when one party results to name calling and hateful comments, I will nicely tell you to off yourself and move on.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Woman's Law

If you're on twitter, F.B., Listen to 12kyle's show or just know a man,  you should be familiar with #manlaw. Well the dear ladies of the Social Media Mafia have decided to bring you our own laws. No, not the SMM laws but Woman's law. It's important that we start to follow these laws and stop tearing each other down.  

In one of my many rants over here I kicked off Woman's law series with Be a better friend , Lady Bangs spoke to you about what else.. Being a Lady and the importance of it. The latest in Woman's Law is one that so many women have just decided to throw under the rug for whatever reason. For some reason being the Side piece and just disrespecting woman in relationships is the norm, Reina has a few words to say about that here: 


Take heed women, someone might not be as nice and you end up chopped and screwed. 




Monday, July 19, 2010

UGH

So I've been missing from the social networking/blogging scenes because I can barely see. Even typing these few lines were a struggle because my eyes have decided to swell up, and tear every 5 seconds. Oh and did I mention how red my eyes are? Like this red

FOR THE LOVE OF VISINE, Can I just get a break??!  Anyway that's what's going on here in the NYC, so if you don't see me on Twitter, FB and here then you know I'm out scaring children and old people.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hey Young World.........

Today on my way home I watched two young boys throw Crip gang signs at each other as a greeting... I was upset. There have always been gangs of some sort in NY but this Crip/ Blood shit is foreign. It needs to be addressed, and not in the NYPD shoot now ask question later kind of way. I don't even believe these kids know what the flip all that gang stuff means, other than they get to shoot folks and wear bandannas. For them it's what they've seen in movies about the west coast and from the 1/2 of "Monster" they actually finished SMH..

Who do you blame for this? Kids are sometimes bullied into the gangs, parents work two jobs and can't  keep up with them, and even if they are trying to steer them away for all this mess it might be too late. I look at these kids and want to scream Have you not seen the multiple shootings of young men that weren't doing anything,  then hope that would shake shake them out of it, but it won't. They are too busy reppin' for their sets, to realize that means nothing, you own nothing, this block is not YOURS.  Not to mention they were fresh to death, latest sneakers, clothing etc... and that's all they cared about. Not realizing they were throwing their lives away. UGH! All I could think as I saw those to men was Slick Rick's "Hey Young World". Sadly this song still applies.
 


Specifically this verse...... 
Hey Mr. bigshot... hey, don't you look fly?
But you dont have a nickle... ohhhh, my my my
You've been fightin again and, you forgot why
Hey kid, walk straight, master your high
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.... because you make your family cry
And all jokes aside, are you in good health?
Hey little boy... now have you really checked yourself?
You're a disgust, you know someone that I cant trust, you'd
Steal moms welfare... and you'd run and buy some dust, and
Plus, a must so... bigshot you're not
Your friends are talkin and Im hearin that your girls a what?
You didn't know? go steal and rob
And while you're at it... go get a suit for a j-awhh-ob
You see you're actin like this urge is demandin
Cmon, wake up... have some understandin
Society's a weak excuse for a man
Its time for the brothers... rap is trying to take the stand
Believe it or not, the lord still shines on you deep
Guides you... and he watched you as you grew, plus
Past the age of... a little child, that's true
But folks your age don't act like you do, so
So be mature... and put the point to a halt
And if you're over eighteen... I wish you'd act like an adult
Don't live in a world... of hate hate hate
Pull yourself together... and get yourself straight
Men don't steal... hey, most don't borrow
And if you smoke crack... your kids'll smoke crack tomorrow
So be more mature... and kids do your chores
Make your own money... hey, be proud that's yours
You know why, cause that's a man... that's brains no spite
Stayin out of trouble... when it comes in sight
And a man never loses a fight... in gods sight
Cause righteous laws are overdue
And this is a message that the ruler rick threw
And its true

C.J. is going to be hella embarrassed when The Mr. and I pick him up from school every damn day!



Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I want a relationship.

I have an announcement to make before I start in on this post.

The Ladies of the Social Media Mafia have taken it upon themselves to remind you that as Women we have laws too, and  as Ladies we need to abide by them. Last week I started with woman law #1 "Be a better friend" , this week my fellow S.M.M cohort  Bangs and a Bun would like to speak to you about being a lady.... Woman Law # 2 Being a Lady. Show the lady some comment love. And by God please stop slouching!!

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Yesterday on twitter I had a conversation with @Butta_Fly that  I found a little disturbing. Not because of what she said but because this seems to be the mind set of many single women (not to mention some attached women). The conversation started when @WisdomisMisery asked how long women keep the jerk around as opposed to the good guy to which she replied that the jerk stayed around longer.  *PAUSE* I don't mind a little joking when it comes to male/female relations but this tweet seemed not to be a joke. So I jumped in....I'm not going to give you the back and forth, you can just check my timeline from Tuesday, but the conversation ended on what I would consider a sour note. 

It seems to me that women want a relationship at any cost! No one wants to work for the better, they just think that a King is waiting for them and well if he turns out to be a frog, it's only temporary. No Ladies, the only thing temporary should be your tolerance for Bullshit. If you're 6 months dating a man and the best he's ever done was show his ass with nasty comments and non-dates (thank you Smarty and Reina for explaining ) you are either going to demand better or get the F$%K up outta dodge.  You don't stay around because the sex is mind blowing, or he's rich because in the end he's going to leave you anyway and you'll be mentally scared and left to deal with it. 

I've said this 1000 times a day to my single friends, you have more power than you think you do in a relationship. I never believed that until an older man I use to work with to me, "If women really paid attention to the power they hold this world would be different" That never left me, not on Wall Street, and not at home. I hold the cards to my happiness and on occasions the people (MEN) around me.  I hear a lot of women saying that it's all about sex when it comes to the man their dating, but you hold the key to  that gate, not a man. If you don't want it that way, change the focus, he's either going to leave or stay. I'm sure a lot of you have heard (and used) the term  Pu$$Y power. Well the power is not just what you do with it in bed, I'm just saying. 

There are a few things you need to remember about a relationship but the most important thing is that you deserve better and you WANT better. Stop focusing all your energy on being "wifed" up and look at being happy with that as a possibility. 

Listen to Heathcliff Huxtable ladies, if a man is serving you a steak on a garbage can top do you want to eat it? Probably not.... The same goes for your relationship.(start at 8:27)





Monday, July 12, 2010

And it just keeps getting better....

It's my favorite time of the year, Summer time in NYC! I've already told you about all the concerts (some of which I didn't even list) but its also Restaurant week! Most major cities have a form of Restaurant week but none of them are as sweet as my beloved NYC. As usual I've made a few lunch reservations for two but if no one can swing with me I'm rolling for do-low, and will tweet the entire meal. I had a ball doing that last year, it made the wait staff incredibly nervous to see me sitting there with my camera and notebook HAHAHA.

Can't do lunch? OH there is also dinner at a tad higher price ($35.00) but hey think about it this way that's $11.66 a course and it's at some of the best restaurants in NY!



Appréciez mange!!!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

UPDATE

This blog is being written by my ghost. As I said yesterday in "My city is better than yours"  I would die and go to heaven if The Roots were playing in NY this summer, and GUESS WHAT, THEY ARE! Today at 4pm, Prospect Park (YEP AGAIN IN BROOKLYN)

And Talib Kweli!!! I mean my Goodness gracious, one of Brooklyn's own.
So that's it, I've gone to Hip-Hop concert heaven and let me tell you it's SWEEEEEETTT.

Friday, July 9, 2010

My city is better than yours......

I know I'm just stating the obvious but it's been a minute since I bragged about NYC. It's summer and besides Trinidad or Costa Rica there no place I'd rather be. So what will I be up to this summer? You guessed it going to CONCERTS! *does the bogle dance* This summer in the Brooklyn, and Manhattan will be epic with Free and paid shows and the best part is I get to do some of them with the Mr. YIPEEEEE! I mean I love my girls and everything but we haven't been to a concert together in a gazillion year!  Okay, okay enough of my babbling, here is where I'll be all summer long.

 That cute little Marty Markowitz and the greatest city on earth Brooklyn will have me swinging, swaying and singing to some of the best.

 And the best part of all is that the concerts are FREEEEEEEEEEEE! Free. I try to make it out to most of these concerts because hell not much else is free in NY and I can bring CJ, my chair, and snacks and some water and we can groove. Even better people in Brooklyn have no behavior and the fashion OMG's will be out in full view of my camera (providing the NOI let me in with it) There are also some free Thursday shows at Seaside, but I won't be going that far to see John Legend. I love me some him but not a two hour trip love.

 Lighters ina the AIRRRRRRR! I am beyond excited that this show will be in Brooklyn. If you haven't already heard this amazing collaboration "Distant Relatives" get on it. I've listened to it everyday since I got it, along with the Roots, oohhh if they were here this summer I could die and go to heaven.....oh got off track. Yes So back to Nas and Junior Gong, July 31st at the Williamsburg Waterfront.



*singing* You needed the chance to show a little romance, not the tables have turn they're running you down. Baby show it off, show them what you got my baby. Oh yes Brooklyn the heavenly voice of Beres Hammond will be serenading me..I mean us at B.A.M on August 6th.  A few years back I vowed to never attend another dancehall/reggae concert again, because as Beres started singing "Rockaway" he was interupted and removed from the stage. He had only done a few songs and the concert was over and he was the headliner! I suffered through a bunch of others like Elephant man, Tanto Metro but I came to see Lady Saw and Beres Hammond (and maybe Buju). But that was then, in Manhattan, and this is NOW in The bestest place ever. BROOKLYN!!!!!



And finally if all of that wasn't enough, I will be at the Rock the Bells Hip Hop concert. This is not just any Hip Hop concert, it's a FESTIVAL! The lineup is too extensive for me to even start listing so click here and see for yourself... ROCK THE BELLS  You have to know that this concert is a big deal it The Mr. heard only one artist and bugged me everyday about the tickets, HAHA. It's going to be the longest day ever, and probably one of the hottest but I'll be with my man, my sisters and my best friends and it will be EPIC!


So as hot as it might be in NY, I'll be sweating to some of the best music out there and I can't, No I won't complain. I'm sure I'll be live tweeting 90% of these concerts especially Rock The bells for 12kyle specifically hahaha. I will definitely be taking pics (you know if the NOI don't get me) so don't worry it will be just like you are there. 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Our friends should be companions who inspire us, who help us rise to our best.

So in the last few months I've been bothered by some of the stories people have told me about their "Friends".I tried to avoid speaking on it because look we all look at life differently but there are just somethings that friends don't do...and unfortunately women seem to have forgotten this. It's really a shame, but men seem to have cornered the "Friends first" market. How can I say that? because it's true! Sure they fight, might even disagree on the choice their friends make in career, mates whatever but they never turn on each other and they damn sure don't sit around gossiping about it or putting the person down.

A few years back I had to do an assessment of the people in my circle and when I did I realized I had a lot of people in my circle doing me more harm than good (even without knowing it). I began to cut them off slowly.  I'll use my own personal experiences in hopes that maybe you'll gain something from it. Kinda like the 48 Laws of Power only not 48 and about Friendships LOL.

Friends and Selfishness:
There was a time where I had closed myself off to the world. I didn't want to do anything but lay around my house. In short I think I was depressed, and it all stemmed from failing my series 7 test (DAMN that 1/2 point). I didn't tell anyone but one friend because we were in the same field and only she could understand. I'd call her for a pep talk and she's say the same thing each time, "It's only a test, you can take it again. Stop beating yourself up" and then proceed to talk about herself for hours upon hour. One day I called her crying because I wasn't sure where my career was going, I was on my way to quitting and looking for something else to do and just like before she told me I was being silly and started talking about her boyfriend. UGH I was so over it. I let her know that this wasn't working for me and I left it at that. After venting to the Mr, I realized before that test I probably never got a word in edgewise and had always been there for her.But when I needed her she was too involved in herself to care.Oh well you live and learn, and I've learned that friendship need reciprocity!


 Friends and relationships:

I use to have a "friend" that always found a reason to down the Mr. "Oh he's not good enough for you", "You work on Wall Street, surrounded by rich men, why won't you leave him" this BS went on and on for two years. I don't know why opinion made any difference to me but it did. I started to judge my life by her standards.  Thinking that because I was on the Street, I had to live the Wall Street life. WTF, was wrong with me? One night we were attending a bachelorette party for a friend and she turned to me and said "Look at how (this dude we worked with) looks at you, he's so into you but you want to be with Mr.anti-social. He won't even speak to people, you need to let him go" and that was it for me, I took a deep breathe and asked her why was she always harping on him, did she like him? Or was she jealous because her man was invisible. I know MEAN, MEAN, MEAN but she had it coming. After all the times she said something about him it was time for me to stop defending my relationship and start defending him like he would have done for me. Needless to say after that little altercation we didn't speak. Which was hard because we shared an office at the time. I don't know what drives women to think that they have to comment on every single solitary part of their friends lives but my relationship is just that MINE. I learned from this experience that you just can't bring other people into your world. I'm older now and I don't think she meant to hurt me, I think she envied what we had and that made her say stupid things. I also don't put all the blame on her, I could have nipped it in the bud by not sharing so much, or just by telling her to back off but I didn't. I thought that was part of being a good friend, biting my tongue.


At 35 I have a very small and tight circle of friends, some that have been around for 20+ years and some for 3 years but they were carefully chosen. In looking at my past relationships I've learned to keep certain things to myself because in the end the only thing that really matter is what I think and how I feel. More importantly
shedding the dead weight has allowed me to become a better listener, and a better friend.





Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I was dreaming when I wrote this forgive me if it goes astray

 Dream Weaver by Universal Love

Sunday night I had a dream ( normally I wouldn't even share but as of late my dreams have been very telling)...Anyway my dream started with my sisters, mom and I signing up for a workshop on anger. We're all dressed up but everyone around us is dressed very casual. We sign in for the seminar and walk into an open space that looks to be a track field.  On the left side of the field there are long tables with large containers   of what looks to be water or lemonade being served by people with no face wearing blue/white smocks. I'm not sure why they don't have faces, maybe they are just blurred.

Suddenly a voice is booming above us, loud but calming and it says "Anger is not the way, and you need to rid yourself of your anger spirit. Tell it you refuse to be that person anymore" iLaugh while all the other people around me look like they are trying to channel their anger and blue/white people giving them water. Suddenly my phone rings, I look at it and hit ignore but I start to feel warm like I have a fever. And then I can hear my mom and sisters calling my name and telling me to relax. They are screaming "Don't let her get you again" but I can't see them, I can only see this monster. Long hair, long nails (blue/red) knocking people out of the way as she walks. Wait, is that me? Is that what my anger looks like?

The people in blue/white keep offering me that drink, I won't take it. Then I hear my mom screaming "Drink the water" I finally listen.I'm back to normal in my body, and this drink taste like sugar water. Again the voice says,"you have to not want to be angry anymore" and iLaugh. I remember it happening twice and then someone says to me as the monster, Don't let C.J see you that way and I finally say it. "I DON'T WANT TO BE ANGRY ANYMORE"........

I woke up shaking my head back and forth, saying I don't want to be angry anymore and crying. I finally opened my eyes and next to me was my perfect little one C.J. and the Mr. I smiled and went back to sleep. An hour later when I woke up the dream was still very vivid so I ran and wrote it all down. And Guess what?....I feel different (hence the share).

I'm reading back what I wrote at 6am and I wondered about a few things....Was that voice God speaking to me?Telling me there was nothing to be angry about. It felt very godly in the dream, even awake writing it made me think that. At 6, I wasn't sure what I might be angry about but after a little meditation I know now. I haven't let go of the anger I've felt for over a week now, one more reason I was shaken to my core. I now know why I had the dream, and I also think some self-assessment is in need.  Yoga daily helps me with that.

I wasn't at all surprised that my anger manifest itself as a banshee, and I'm sure those of you that know me aren't either. I'm usually pretty calm, level headed but when I am angry it's usually like a storm. I can admit that I am not always upfront about my anger in situations and  when the top blows it usually turns into rage quickly. I'm working on that.
So that's it, my dreams usually open up my mind, and comfort my soul...they haven't failed me yet.