Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I was dreaming when I wrote this forgive me if it goes astray

 Dream Weaver by Universal Love

Sunday night I had a dream ( normally I wouldn't even share but as of late my dreams have been very telling)...Anyway my dream started with my sisters, mom and I signing up for a workshop on anger. We're all dressed up but everyone around us is dressed very casual. We sign in for the seminar and walk into an open space that looks to be a track field.  On the left side of the field there are long tables with large containers   of what looks to be water or lemonade being served by people with no face wearing blue/white smocks. I'm not sure why they don't have faces, maybe they are just blurred.

Suddenly a voice is booming above us, loud but calming and it says "Anger is not the way, and you need to rid yourself of your anger spirit. Tell it you refuse to be that person anymore" iLaugh while all the other people around me look like they are trying to channel their anger and blue/white people giving them water. Suddenly my phone rings, I look at it and hit ignore but I start to feel warm like I have a fever. And then I can hear my mom and sisters calling my name and telling me to relax. They are screaming "Don't let her get you again" but I can't see them, I can only see this monster. Long hair, long nails (blue/red) knocking people out of the way as she walks. Wait, is that me? Is that what my anger looks like?

The people in blue/white keep offering me that drink, I won't take it. Then I hear my mom screaming "Drink the water" I finally listen.I'm back to normal in my body, and this drink taste like sugar water. Again the voice says,"you have to not want to be angry anymore" and iLaugh. I remember it happening twice and then someone says to me as the monster, Don't let C.J see you that way and I finally say it. "I DON'T WANT TO BE ANGRY ANYMORE"........

I woke up shaking my head back and forth, saying I don't want to be angry anymore and crying. I finally opened my eyes and next to me was my perfect little one C.J. and the Mr. I smiled and went back to sleep. An hour later when I woke up the dream was still very vivid so I ran and wrote it all down. And Guess what?....I feel different (hence the share).

I'm reading back what I wrote at 6am and I wondered about a few things....Was that voice God speaking to me?Telling me there was nothing to be angry about. It felt very godly in the dream, even awake writing it made me think that. At 6, I wasn't sure what I might be angry about but after a little meditation I know now. I haven't let go of the anger I've felt for over a week now, one more reason I was shaken to my core. I now know why I had the dream, and I also think some self-assessment is in need.  Yoga daily helps me with that.

I wasn't at all surprised that my anger manifest itself as a banshee, and I'm sure those of you that know me aren't either. I'm usually pretty calm, level headed but when I am angry it's usually like a storm. I can admit that I am not always upfront about my anger in situations and  when the top blows it usually turns into rage quickly. I'm working on that.
So that's it, my dreams usually open up my mind, and comfort my soul...they haven't failed me yet.



4 comments:

Smarty P. Jones said...

It seems you have a pretty good handle on it. God speaks to us all in different ways. Maybe he's using your dreams to speak to you. If he is, listen and do as you're told.

The F$%K it List said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Hey lady! Wow, sounds like the dreams I often have. Heeding the messages you took away from it will definitely be eye-opening and, what I've learned from personal experience, make even more sense after a while.

Dee said...

Dreams are the subconscious' way of dealing with ish when you keep it bottled up and opt not to cuss folks out. You needed an outlet and you were forced to confront issues, lest you never sleep restfully again. Point being - let it out! The brain can only take so much.

I agree with Smarty that you were being sent a message from above as well, listen!

I'm thinking one of the people in blue and white was me, giving you vodka, actually. LOL.