Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Friends and relationships...

Yesterday on the way back from Fela (side note, This play is a must see) I overheard two single woman having a conversation about relationships. One of their friends must have recently gotten engaged and they seemed a little bitter. I tuned out most of the conversation but the bits and pieces I heard reeked of insecurity and jealousy.  Now tell me if I'm wrong:

Girl one (dating) "I've been with  xyz boy for 2yrs and he hasn't asked me to marry him, and at this point I probably will just say No".  Every time I turn around I hear single women comparing their relationships to other not single woman. WHY? You're not on the same playing field and you're not dating the same man. The best thing to do is to focus on your world and your relationship. Comparing apples to apples with friends only leads to unnecessary resentment. I have single, married, almost married friends and all I look at is how happy they are. Nothing else. I don't want their happiness because my main focus is me and my own and as far as I know the same goes for them.

Girl two (single friend) 'I'm chasing money and success, she can have the husband and kids" REALLY,  What the hell does that even mean? That sounds like hate, dipped in hateration, grilled and dipped again. This simple yet ignorant statement implies that you can't have both a happy family and success and that's bull. It doesn't have to be one or the other? And why are you making it like she's throwing her dreams away, she's getting married not entering a damn convent. Now I can't say this kind of jealousy is foreign to me, I have several single friends that go on and on about how they are chasing business and so they don't have time for a relationship or a man, and that may very well be true.  But these same friends are card carrying members of the "I like to date the same douche maximus club" or and have never been in a successful relationship. So when I hear what has now become the over 25 call of women, I shake my head at  bitterness showing its ugly head.

I'm sure someone is going to come over here in the comments with the all women don't want to be married rhetoric *gives you a standing ovation* but let me stop you here! All women do not want to be married, and that isn't the point of this post.  My point is when you're friend is entering into a new phase of  life and she wants to be apart of that don't be an ASS and bash her. SUPPORT your friend because it's scary enough and  she will need you. Save your jealousy and insecurities for behind close doors. *sucks teeth*

Trust me when I say I don't need friends like that! "Friends" shouldn't be hateful, judgemental and just down right unsupportive. I wouldn't be able to face my friend knowing I spent the balance of 1hr tearing them down for getting married.

I wish I had the bride-to-be's number I'd have let her know she had two bridesmaids that might have voodoo dolls in their bouquets.


Mommy Lisa said...

I agree - I try to cut negative people out of my life. There is no need to be dragged down with someone like either of those girls.

Smarty P. Jones said...

I agree. My goal in all my friendships is to make sure my friends are happy and healthy and if I can help, I'm going to do my best.

What happened is probably she got married before they did and they can't stand it. Since you tend to be the company you keep, had one of them been the ones getting married, I'll bet she would have been in on the bashing party.

It's sad really.

EazyduzitVA said...

BBS - Bitter Babe Syndrome !! Most don't realize they suffer from this ... LOL !!

Irene said...

That sounds just sad!

The Jaded NYer said...

LMAO @ Bitter Babe Syndrome! Too funny!!!

But yeah, I know people like this, too, and so I just cart them off into the "people who do not get to know my business anymore" category. Punto y fin.