Thursday, August 19, 2010

Who you calling a ..................#WomansLaw

I've been back and forth the last year writing a post on the differences in being a woman and being a lady. It's a really hard post to write without offending someone. It might need to be a series of post, starting with  this one... Stop calling yourself a Bitch

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with Fithungrygurl about the use of derogatory words in reference to other woman. She was clear that some of these words were her favorites, and that using words like Bitch or having someone call her a these names didn't matter or take anything from her. I disagree. I work in a male dominated field and that word is thrown around like holy water at a baptism, only its NOT a good thing. Men use the word to describe a woman they see as difficult, out of their place or otherwise a problem. They DO NOT see you as strong nor do they respect you. Woman love to say they've adopted the word and that its lost its sting but that is a falsity, calling a self respecting woman by anything other than her name should get you slapped Shahrazad Ali style. But most time its mumbled behind a back or when the person has moved on, which is a clear indication that the word is indeed still negative. And if you are running around calling yourself Bitch you're associating yourself with that negativity. I'm not the queen Bitch(Lil Kim, yeah she Queen low self-esteem), I ain't the head bitch in charge (HBIC)and if you come out your face and address me as such prepare to pick your teeth up off the ground.

As of late "basic bitch" and "Five star bitch" have crept up on the scene. *rolls eyes* The funny thing is 9 out of 10 of these self proclaimed  "five stars" are 1/2 a star and basic as all get out.  What is five star about this?
This is one of the many pictures that come up when you google "Five Star" DAMN SHAME. Somewhere along the way, we've let these young people down. They believe that having money to blow on a Louis Vuitton bag,  knowing full well you are behind on your bills is not something I look up to. I'm not sure how all this five star mess started but I'm sure it had something to do with a Hip-hop and the incessant need to elevate one kind of woman over another.  So why as women do we play into that? I don't get off on being superior to my sisters around the world so I don't need a man slapping a tag on me that says I'm better. My success whether it be small or large is the success of all woman. So if you seek to label me a five star because of it I will let you know that the only five stars I recognize are at a hotel. Everything else is just PURE D. Foolishness.

So for the women reading this have some respect for yourself and your sisters and put these words to rest, at least amongst yourselves. We can worry about the men later.


Irene said...

"I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed"

The F$%K it List said...

@Irene No one is asking you to feel ashamed, but if you do consider yourself a bitch something is wrong with that.

Irene said...

I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that, at times, I am a complete and total bitch. I am. It's true. Not always..but yes, sometimes.

Michael Fisher said...

first time reader here.

as a guy, i've become somewhat amazed at all these women claiming to be "the baddest bitch" or "a five star bitch" and here's why.

Trina, the rapper, most men i know find her attractive, most of the women who find these men attractive see that, hence they feel in order to attract his attention, they too must be "the baddest bitch"

which let's be real, is the last thing any man wants to take home to mum.

it's all about self respect, if you have none, you will have no problems with refferring to yourself and other's as a bitch.

just my 2 cents worth.

Smarty P. Jones said...

Because I am a wordsmith, I'd much rather take the literal meaning of the word. A bitch is a female dog. To call a woman a bitch dehumanizes her and does in fact degrade her.
Dogs are a lot of things, but you'd never dress one up and take it home to meet your parents. You'd never take one out in a formal setting. You just wouldn't.
So, if you dehumanize yourself, don't be surprised when others do it, too.