Friday, December 31, 2010

Year in Review Part II

I can't believe I'm even writing this but 2010 is almost over! This year has been a series of ups and down that forced me to tune into my inner spiritual self, make changes and grow. And because of this I was able to make changes in my personal, professional and online life.  Great changes that allowed me to meet new people, do things I never really though about when I started this blog and giving my family peace.  

2010 Professional:
I don't discuss my professional life here because well the internet has too many eyes, and ears... in short the streets are watching. But this year forced me to make a decision about where I will be at the end of the new year and those of you that know me, you know if I set my mind to something it's going to happen. 2011 plans set in motion. 

2010 Personal: 
After 11 months of hell we finally bought a house! It was a long tedious process, it was gut wrenching, tear inducing hell but it's over now and we are the proud owners of a beautiful home. We've made some really good friends through the process and learned so much and for that I'm thankful. Our home needs a little TLC but for the most part it is in perfect condition and CJ has really taken to the backyard.  YEAH for weekend naps again. 
Our home after the Blizzard of 2010
New Friends: I have a great group of friends that I've had for years. They've been there through all the good and the bad and this year thanks to facebook I've reconnected with a lot of them.  2010 also brought about a special friend for CJ and I while we were in Brooklyn.  It's funny how a ride on the bus can build an instant friendship between two little ones and their moms. We miss you Omar and Claudia and once this cold breaks we'll be back out there to hang out.

New outlook: With the help of old Smarty I've  come to realize that I have a lot to offer in the way of advice BUT I have to be prepared for people not to listen. I'm working on that. I tend to get a little upset when people don't just do what I say but that's not good (and truth be told it's stressful) so now I will offer advice when asked and let people make their own decisions. After all it's not my life. 

With all the good also came some bad and I actually blogged about it to free myself from some of the anger and sadness I felt. I don't want to relive it all but you can read about it here: Dream Weaver It's still hard for me to believe he's no longer with us.  

2010 Online: 
I didn't do as much blogging here as I intended, but life gets in the way sometimes. *shrugs* I had a ton of  strongly opinionated pieces, nothing different than what I've written in the past, but somewhere I lost my moxy and never hit publish. They make up the Part I of this Year in review. :). 

Though I limited what I wrote here I still continued to blog. I started a Wordpress blog all about my life as a working mom, and with the help and encouragement of a great group of people I was able to work on a few outside sites, and increase my online presence. I have to admit that was no easy job, I am in awe of my friends that write for a living because I was straight up annoyed by it all. Revision after revision UGH but I got a few good pieces written and I'm very proud of them. I'd like to personally thank the women that gave me the platform to express myself : 

So that's my year in review... I know 2011 will be just as exciting and I hope you all come along for the ride.


Thursday, December 30, 2010

Year in Review Part I

As we all get ready to wish Adieu to 2010 I thought it wouldn't be fair of me NOT to let you in on the things that have annoyed me in the blog world, real world, twitterverse etc etc...  Some of these are blog post I started and never finished but all of them are things that made me say WTF. So heeerreee we go!

1. Black Girls:
No no not Black girls in general, that would be stupid since DUH I'm a Black Woman. I was annoyed with the people that felt that Black Women/Girls needed to be the target of their hate. First it was Black men and the onslaught of a gazillion books, then women of other races feeling left out because Black women were being uplifted. UGH it was so damn annoying. I unfollowed a lot of people because of their consistent abuse of Black women on twitter (many of which we're Black Men), and gave several hard side eyes to people that though it was a bad thing to shine a little light on the positive about us. I wasn't interested in any Kumbayaa sessions when Black women were being shown as stars because none of that mess existed before.

2. Reality TV whining
Look I enjoy reality T.V just like the next man, it's an escape from my own reality but as of late it's been nothing but a bunch of catty women screaming at each other and picking TV fights.  It's a mess and its sad. I'm really going to try to tune that mess (excluding the RHousewives, hhehe look I can't shake them, I admit it)

3. The BeyonCiaRihanna effect of Women
*sigh*  (a) Every where I turn I see weaves, and lacefronts for days, it's SAD. I just want Black girls to stop and look at how they are becoming characters (which fuels people from #1). Sure some women do the hair to have a different look and that's fine, Black women have always created styles with their hair but as of late it's nothing more than trying to be what you are not. There are lacefront sales from here to Kalamazoo and right along with it damaged hair and missing hair lines.
(b) There is also the oversexed mentality of these same girls. They want to be seen for nothing more than their body parts and if they make money off it, or get some deadbeat boyfriend they are happy. What ever happen to self esteem.

4. Keri Hilson
Yes the person! She has turned into such a disappointment. When she first came out before she was Beyonce'd I loved her. I even liked that she took a shot at these artist that she had been writing for all these years, not because I enjoy the simple beef (that's #5) but because she was speaking up for herself and her talent. WTH happen????  I started a post on how destructive her latest song "pretty girl rock" is on thanksgiving day after she performed it at the parade but I never got around to finish it. This woman is running around toting this song as a song of Female empowerment but its NOT. When I think about empowering my sisters I don't say stuff like " Mad cause I'm cuter than the girl that's with you" UGH. The thought of this song makes me sick, for real I'd rather hear a nonsensical rap song by Nicki Minaj than ever hear this mess. And if I had a daughter it would be banned in my home.

5. Beef
This year we've witnessed the most ridiculous beefs in hip hop. So ridiculous I won't even bother running them down. All these beefs did was make those of us that have a brain look at others and shake their heads.

More than once this year I wanted to scream at people I know (and some that I don't) to read a DAMN BOOK! There are just somethings I think are unacceptable. If you don't know who some rapper is or singer that's fine but not to know who Huey P. Newton is or what he stood for is just NOT OKAY!  I witnessed a lot of this in 2010 and I did go off on a few people but yeah I should have done it more often. Ignorance is not bliss.

There were a whole bunch of other things that annoyed me this year like Twitter killing folks, recent hoax, people not being responsible for their life choices, oh the list goes on and on but I won't continue. We're about to celebrate a new year and I'd like to leave this disgust in the old year (along with Swagger and Grown and Sexy).


Friday, December 24, 2010

Love might be blind but you most certainly are NOT

I don't normally write these types of post because I don't get risking my self respect and dignity and possibly getting jacked up for anyone but after a call from a friend I needed to get this off my chest.

I recently reconnected with a friend of mine after running into each other on the train several times. We've started to speak a lot and you all know I don't do phones, but last night She called me to tell me that her "BOYfriend" has finally decided to leave his wife and will do it this Christmas... O_o. In trying out my new listen first and advice later attitude I let her run through the story of their relationship again and just tried to take it all in. When they met 5 years ago he was unhappily married but he couldn't leave, 5 years later he's still married and promising to spend tonight with her and not return to his wife after Christmas day, she sounded so excited and hopeful but I just couldn't stand to listen anymore. I asked her is she'd been arguing with him lately and what was it about? She said his continued "unhappy marriage" and then he sprung this whole thing on her.  As I listened more it seemed she didn't get that this dude was NEVER going to leave his wife, and instead of saying that I tweeted "It must be sad to live in a constant state of denial". I really feel bad for her but all the signs pointed in bright red letters GET THEE THE F$%K OUTTA DODGE, but she chose not to listen. We've all ignored sign but I know I don't have it in me to be second class to anyone. 

We saw the extreme of what a married woman can do to screw up a mistress' life in 2010 first with Cynthia Shackelford (who won $9million from her husband's mistress) then with Fantasia's  story.  So clearly wives are fighting back but I have to wonder whats in the mind of the "other woman" is specifically those who end up with these men after they finally leave their wives. When I hear about a friend of mine boo'd up with a married man I always think when did they get to such a low place because only desperation could lead you to STAY in that kind of place. Sure you may not have known in the beginning, cheaters have to be crafty and if you're all head over heels you might not see what is in front of you but once you find out then what? Love isn't that blind!

But let's just say he does leave his wife for you, aren't you just 15 minutes from being the victim of the seeds you sowed?  Doesn't all this just sound like a recipe for disaster. I don't know maybe I'm missing something.  Perhaps my lack of tolerance for Bullshit and love for myself won't allow me to understand this concept and I'm okay with that but I do wish women would save themselves hurt feelings, heartbreak and more importantly their self respect by just remembering that certain things are deal breakers and you should move on if you're ever faced with this situation. You don't have to be a second class to anyone, listen to your gut and well let Buju and Carol  tell you......

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Reason #1,564,900 I should not watch MTV

Last week I was bamboozled by Mz.InspiredMind into watching that ratchet 16 and Pregnant. I've watched that show all of one time before and all it did was get me all worked up. I swore NEVER to do it again..#liesItellmyself. Anyway last week there was a young couple on the show and the shear level of fuckery makes me believe that MTV is not trying to deter kids from getting pregnant but are indeed glorifying it for monetary gain. Angry again I took to Twitter and decided that if you don't follow me (SHAME ON YOU) I'd would give you a glimpse into my extra random world. ENJOY!

Sooo thanks to @mzinspiredmind I'm watching 16 and Pregnant... I just heard the girl say he should be able to take care of her. (CONT)

Rule Nomber Uno (yeah I quote Biggie all the time)If you are about to be a mother you had better be able to take care of your GAT damn self. I don't care if you are 16 or 36

I don't care if you're married, shacked up, off and on YOU have to be able to care for you and your child ESPECIALLY that 1st few months.

The girl was in labor and HIS family were the only one's around: Where is this child's parents? I missed the beginning

Dude was fully dressed, fresh to death :Uhm how is it that Isaiah can find his gold chain but not his damn car keys.

@mzinspiredmind Well Shame the f$%k on them! How you just bounce on a 16yo.(Mz responding that the girls parent left her down there and move back to upstate NY, RATCHETNESS at it's finest)

KISS THE BABY (This is for Sonshine) RT @Strawberry15: YES RT @f_uitlist: WAIT A GAT DAMN MINUTE this 16yo CHILD is married?@mzinspiredmind @Strawberry15

(she was actually not going to college and had finished HS early) and here goes the giving up school! SADNESS

Number 2: You didn't know how much you have to give up, You sacrifice for your child from the time you find out you're preggers. that's why being 16 and Pregnant sucks. You haven't had time to really live. (me preaching)

If he buys Rims i SWEAR I will jump into the TV and smack the Begeesus out of him! Ya'll will see me on TV in my head scarf tonight

(the boys family was pushing for a DNA test, and made the girl cry) I'm about to slap the Good googlie mogglie out of these Black folks. This ain't mutherfing Maury   

I'm deleting @mzinspiredmind from my life after this show! I'm so pissed off at this mess of a show!

(News you can use folks!) wait if a DNA test is only $40 why are all these folks on Maury?

(this old battle axe was going in for NO REASON) why the f$%k does the grandma want a DNA test? 

(Uhm I say this all the time)Black people get your shit together!

I hate hood rat families. HATE THEM I say!

(This was in response to that little boy going on about what any MAN would do, The problem here is he was was good and let the women of his family bully him)
 NO DUMB ASS a MAN is not going to let the banshees in his family convince him that he should take a DNA test.

(Mz. saying she would curse him and his family out) @mzinspiredmind and then I'd punch him square in the face. STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!

So there you have it, my angry rant on 16 and Pregnant the Maury Povitch edition. I really wish one of you would come put the parental control on my TV because sometimes my TV choices are just so........  (Next up RHOA HAHA)

*** Hides remote**