Friday, December 24, 2010

Love might be blind but you most certainly are NOT


I don't normally write these types of post because I don't get risking my self respect and dignity and possibly getting jacked up for anyone but after a call from a friend I needed to get this off my chest.

I recently reconnected with a friend of mine after running into each other on the train several times. We've started to speak a lot and you all know I don't do phones, but last night She called me to tell me that her "BOYfriend" has finally decided to leave his wife and will do it this Christmas... O_o. In trying out my new listen first and advice later attitude I let her run through the story of their relationship again and just tried to take it all in. When they met 5 years ago he was unhappily married but he couldn't leave, 5 years later he's still married and promising to spend tonight with her and not return to his wife after Christmas day, she sounded so excited and hopeful but I just couldn't stand to listen anymore. I asked her is she'd been arguing with him lately and what was it about? She said his continued "unhappy marriage" and then he sprung this whole thing on her.  As I listened more it seemed she didn't get that this dude was NEVER going to leave his wife, and instead of saying that I tweeted "It must be sad to live in a constant state of denial". I really feel bad for her but all the signs pointed in bright red letters GET THEE THE F$%K OUTTA DODGE, but she chose not to listen. We've all ignored sign but I know I don't have it in me to be second class to anyone. 

We saw the extreme of what a married woman can do to screw up a mistress' life in 2010 first with Cynthia Shackelford (who won $9million from her husband's mistress) then with Fantasia's  story.  So clearly wives are fighting back but I have to wonder whats in the mind of the "other woman" is specifically those who end up with these men after they finally leave their wives. When I hear about a friend of mine boo'd up with a married man I always think when did they get to such a low place because only desperation could lead you to STAY in that kind of place. Sure you may not have known in the beginning, cheaters have to be crafty and if you're all head over heels you might not see what is in front of you but once you find out then what? Love isn't that blind!

But let's just say he does leave his wife for you, aren't you just 15 minutes from being the victim of the seeds you sowed?  Doesn't all this just sound like a recipe for disaster. I don't know maybe I'm missing something.  Perhaps my lack of tolerance for Bullshit and love for myself won't allow me to understand this concept and I'm okay with that but I do wish women would save themselves hurt feelings, heartbreak and more importantly their self respect by just remembering that certain things are deal breakers and you should move on if you're ever faced with this situation. You don't have to be a second class to anyone, listen to your gut and well let Buju and Carol  tell you......






1 comment:

Mommy Lisa said...

I have a friend who called me who finally left her husband who has been beating her for eight years. She thought I didn't know...