Thursday, March 24, 2011

What do we do now...

I haven’t had a lot to say in the last few weeks but this morning after I dropped CJ off to school, I felt the need to share my feelings about the children I see on the train. Not about their clothes or the way they speak (though I will touch on that) but more about the feelings I have when I listen to them.

This mornings journey from Long Island to Brooklyn found me in a conversation with a teenage girl, when she asked me how much my shoes cost. When I asked her why, she said because she wanted to ask her mom to get her a pair just like mine. I was shocked. My guess was she was about 17 but when I smiled and asked how old she was, she said 14. 14, FOURTEEN! What in the world does a 14 year old need with 4 ½ inch suede high heels shoes (man sometimes I have to wonder why I need them and I have a job and clearly an addiction). She said her mom was cool with it, and then I looked at what she had on with her leggings, no underwear (#thugtears) thigh high boots and a cropped leather jacket. That outfit didn’t scream I’m here to learn.

Anyway that little conversation made me pay attention to all of the kids around. They all had on the same kind of outfits, even the girls in their uniforms of khaki colored slacks looked as though they were wearing leggings because they were skin tight. My first thought was where are these kids parents! When I was that age Patsy knew what I was wearing because for the most part she bought all of my clothes. If something was tight, too short or God forbid I didn’t wear a slip my mother would quickly point that out (and if she didn’t my Nana would). Now I don’t think that parents need to make sure these kids are wearing slips (even though proper undergarments will save your life) but really you don’t think that it’s inappropriate that your daughter’s ass is jiggling all up and down Flatbush avenue. If you give your daughter $100 she comes back with skin tight pants why don’t you take them back? You tell her to go get a skirt and she comes back with a mini and some leggings and you go cool? NOPE. That’s not how it works. I remember my sister telling me that once she bought shoes from Bakers and my mom made her take them right back. LOL. I’m sure they were not sky high stilettos but they were cheap and that was a NO. I get it that styles change, I mean here I am as a teenager:

Girbauds hanging baggy, Hilfiger on the top…. That was the style. But this is not just about style, this is about the mindset of these kids. It seems that they really just want to be grown ups now and screw being a kid. I could get on my high horse and blame these artist, music videos, and the oversexed nature of the world but I won’t. I place the burden of blame on the parents, the families, the people that should be blamed because they are not guiding these children and helping them to understand that what you see on TV is not real. When I was teenager there was a dancer in the "Buddy" video with a platinum stripe up the front of her flat top. I WANTED THAT SO BAD, Patsy took me to get a press and curl. When Mc Lyte wore a asymmetrical mushroom Patsy took me to get a press and curl. I wasn’t on TV, I could fantasized until the cows came home but until I had my own money, there was none of that mess. My mother was a parent first, and she made choices for me that assured no one would think I was anything other than the young woman she was raising.

And that is it right there, we are not raising young woman anymore. We're leaving our girls out in the wind expecting them to figure it all out. And sadly there are several generations at this point caught up in that.  So how do we fix this? Do we just right them off as the bad seeds or do we as a community of women get together and raise up the baby girls. 

*goes off to make a change* 


BK's Favorite Buttafly said...

This hits home and so very true!! I am alarmed at the outfits these young girls wear. Like you said, Patsy and Najima had to clear ALL outfits before we walked out the door. I am shocked how in the dead of the winter, there are no hats, scarves, cropped jackets, skin hanging out and all kinds of mess. HOWWWWW did you walk out your door like that??!?!? My mother still asks me where my hat is and I am 34!! Its just a prime case of NO parenting at home and lack of a responsible adult schooling you on the proper way to dress. These girls need some guidance from US, etiquette classes and direction because they are being raised by their peers and not parents.

MzInspiredMind81 said...

You better say THIS!!!! I totally agree. I think part of the problem is, to many kids are having to raise themselves now or share in the raising of themselves with the forms of media. Also, I feel like too many parents are trying to be their children's friends instead of the parent. I'm with you. It's time we take back our youth and refuse to let them fall by the wayside.

*I owe you a text ! lol

MyDatinghangovers said...

Each and every time I see a little pop tart in training I think to myself "we were NOT like that at our age".

I don't know if it's because of the younger mothers, Moms too close in age or Moms trying to be too hip and "cool" with their daughters, but I find myself disgusted. Quite often.

I know I'm going to sound old as hell and dated, but back in my day our idea of being grown and sassy was wearing colored lipstick instead of gloss. Tying our shirts up when we got to school. Unraveling pony tails instead of wearing them braided. That was about it.

Of course kids will be kids but more parents have got to lay down the law on the skanky attire and ridiculous behavior. Otherwise, we'll just see more and more of the loose, hoochie types of girls who are fit to be in a special R. Kelly video.

Sorry, didn't mean for this comment to be sooooooo long but these little heifers tap on a nerve!!

Mommy Lisa said...

My step daughters mother bought her a tight t-shirt that read "Cherry" and had cherries on it - that shit went in the garbage. Her mom brought her over wearing a mini that let her hoo-ha hang and Daddy said, "I don't care what she wears when she leaves YOUR house, but if you want the money back you paid for that mini skirt you better take it home with you now. I or my wife will toss it out!"

My child will not dress like a hooker. Or twenty-one year old in Da Club.

Tyrone said...

It's funny - as a guy growing up without a worry, I didn't mind seeing it, but I know that I won't let my daughter dress like that. Oh, how time changes perspective.

However, I never got with a girl who dressed like that. Good to look at but I wasn't bringing one like that ma'am. There's a reason for that. ;)

SayingItLikeIMeanIT said...

Right on! About a month ago, I was walking down Nostrand Ave and this woman asked, "where's your hat?" I'm a grown-up and must say that it tickled me to hear her say that because I appreciated it (besides my head was FREEZING). I don't want to say we have to do something because I will be the first to admit that I just look at these kids crazy and turn my head when I see boxer shorts and bellies in my face. This past new year's eve, my younger friends and I were on the train and saw a young man with his pants hanging at the modern low and asked him why. He had no answer. Well he had one but everything that he said illustrated that he has no concept of what he's doing. What mattered to him was that he "paid four bills for them". But we're talking about the young ladies here, so back to the topic. That was a good post btw.