Friday, June 24, 2011

Say you will sing your song.... FOREVER MORE.

It's 3:00 am and my mind is racing because I can't remember the exact time I found out.

I remember it was in the morning, I was on my way to work.
I remember that my mom called and I told her I'd call her right back because I thought she was calling to yell at me for something.
I remember not being able to get anyone on the phone once I got off the train.
I remember finally getting a hold of my mom.
I remember her saying it's okay, but it wasn't. She was in tears.
I was in shock
I remember floating to work, I think its called an out of body experience.
I remember collapsing on the corner of 46th and sending an email. "If anyone is looking for me I'm downstairs in the lobby."
I remember the tears and then the hugs. People telling me to go home.
I remember being at home, in the bed mid-day and not being able to stop the flood.
I remember all of these details but I can't remember the exact time I found out.

Maybe that doesn't matter, maybe it's just a small detail left in the wind.
I remember the hurt, the pain, the confusion, the questioning, the silence.
It's all very raw, will this feeling ever die? Probably not, but it will get better that's what they say. Year by year I'll remember less but I'll never forget.

 I know you're watching over us, you always have, We love and Miss you Dearly Bob!

*this song always makes me think of him*


Mommy Lisa said...

Peace for you on this day.

Stacy said...

Love and Hugs for you today from me and Jack.