Monday, September 12, 2011

How Could I Ever Forget

When I started this post I had every intention of telling my 9/11 story, but as I wrote the emotions flooded back in and I decided it was best that I didn't. At least not in great detail. I've been blogging for 4 years and people have asked why I never share it because it could be healing to some, what they forget is that it is hurtful to me, On this day, I make a conscious decision to  shut down all social media, TV and radio because the stories shared FORCE me to relive it all and honestly I just don't want to.

I was there, I stood in front of those towers, I saw it live and in person and because of that I WILL never forget! My life changed that day like many New Yorkers, but with all the despair that surrounded me I bonded with people I loved, solidifying friendships for a lifetime. I vowed never to leave my home angry and never to be so petty that I leave the Mr. without saying I  Love You. This is what I choose to remember about that day. Sharing the parts that catapult me into deep sadness yearly just doesn't seem necessary.
I'm not suggesting that others don't share their story because we all heal differently and it's your story to share, but my story is one I am choosing to hold close to guard with my heart.  Maybe as CJ gets older and he is begins to understand what actually happened on that day I will pass it on to him but until that day I  just pray that the world changes.

I listen to this song every year since that day, it reminds me to appreciate the men and women that lost their lives and gave their lives to help others.