Thursday, December 1, 2011

No Mirrors in my Nana's house.

Last night when I got home after doing a million things I sat down to talk to CJ about his day. He started off with the regular conversation about his friends L and T and something about a Burping contest (boy humor escapes me). As he continued on and we giggled he got serious and said one of the boys said I'm a little brown boy. *sigh* I asked him why but he wouldn't tell me. He seems confused, he seemed angry, my heart broke. He didn't want to talk anymore, it didn't matter what we said, I suspect he saw the anger in our eyes.

This morning when he climbed into my bed I gave him a hug and kissed his forehead. He started talking. Mommy I'm proud to be a little brown boy and I told that boy so. But why does that matter? Fuuufcckkkkkk why now he's 5 years old!!!  I went through the speech I rehearsed from the time we decided to send him to this school.  He understood, and just like that the topic changed he was a power ranger again. It didn't change for me, I sat there angry. Hell I'm still angry.

The speech for 5 is different than the speech for 6, for 8, for 10 etc, but the thought of actually having to have the words prepared makes me want to spit fire. But after this morning I am confident that my words will guide him and he will be able to navigate this tricky world of Post Racial BS. I am sure he knew there was a difference in his skin and his best bud L's (he's no dummy) I want him to know that is the ONLY difference.

The title of this post is a book I read to CJ every night its a beautiful book and I read it to him this morning before he left.


Lyrics to the song by Ysay M. Barnwell 

There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Na's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
I never knew that my skin was too black.
I never knew that my nose was too flat.
I never knew that my clothes didn't fit.
I never knew there were things that I'd missed,
cause the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun);
...was in her eyes.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
I was intrigued by the cracks in the walls.
I tasted, with joy, the dust that would fall.
The noise in the hallway was music to me.
The trash and the rubbish just cushioned my feet.
And the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
The world outside was a magical place.
I only knew love.
I never knew hate,
and the beauty in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
...was in her eyes.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes (like the rising of the sun).
"Chil', look deep into my eyes."
"Chil', look deep into my eyes."


*Writing a letter to the teacher now and fighting the urge to go to that school and get all Assata Shakur on these people*



1 comment:

MzInspiredMind81 said...

Every morning on the commute into work and school, the kids and I listen to the Tom Joyner and Russ Parr morning shows. At 7:40am, every morning they do the 'little known black history fact'. The kids(and I) have come to really enjoy hearing the fact during our daily commute. Today's fact was about a man who was set on fire by the KKK and ultimately died of his injuries. The Sheriff of the town the man lived in, asked the KKK to him all because the man(who was a shoe cobbler) wouldn't give the Sheriff a free pair of boots.

I was beyond enraged after hearing that. The kids and I had a conversation about it. The point of me blogging in your comments (sorry sis!) is that I totally understand and feel you on wanting to go all Assata Shakur.