Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Say What now?

Have we really gotten to the point where we need kids books to explain why a parent is in jail? I have no words, I'll just leave it to you in the comment section.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

What about your friends?

This weekend as I prepared for the long week ahead of me I got a call from an unknown number. My first thought was not to pick up but with all the things going on in my circle I thought better and answered. I am so glad I answered.It was one of my best friends from college who I haven't spoken to since CJ's first birthday. This guy was one of the few men close enough to be called my brother, close enough to call me every night and my husband not bat an eyelid. But as we both got more involved career wise and our families started to grow we didn't have time for daily calls, even though we would send the occasional text.
The conversation I had with my friend felt like we had just spoken the night before, we picked up so easily and it made me happy.  When we finally hung up and I got over all the news he had shared I started thinking about the many friends I've had and lost, and I realized they fall into three categories.

There was the friend that needed to speak to you everyday, not because they wanted you to speak but because they needed a sound board for their misery. This "friend" would get mad when you didn't have time for their calls, or had other things to do and would be quick to tell you what a poor friend you were. As I grew older my tolerance for people like this grew short and I disassociated myself with them. Back then I just stopped answering the phone, it was easier that way. I learned to spot people like this instantly and walked the other way, my selfishness detector is like no other.

Then there was the friend that would seek out my advice, but once I said something they didn't like it turned into the debate from hell or a conversation about why my advice wasn't valid but a judgement. *sigh* How did I deal with these people for so long. The difference here is I learned to value what others say, and I might not agree with you, your feelings and opinions are valid and I don't have the right to be dismissive. Maturity allowed me to free myself of these people and though my circle of friends grew smaller I realized it was the strongest it's ever been. They continue to share my omni-verse and I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends are spread across the n the globe and even though I don't get to speak with them I know that if I needed to they'd be there, no attitudes, no judgment and for that I am grateful. It's wonderful to have people that support your every move, crazy dreams and encourages your crazy :).

Years of digging through the friendship bin has paid off and I know these people know our friendships will last longer than any phone call. 

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Blogger Spotlight: She's making a change and needs your help.

A few month ago a dear friend expressed interest in going to South Africa to work with HIV/AIDS orphans but she wasn't sure how she was going to fund the entire trip. Not sure how to help I offered to put a little something up on my site and ask my readers to donate whatever they could. 

Alena "Coogie Cruz" is a graduate student at Columbia's Masters in Social Work program with a minor in International Social Welfare. 

When asked why she wanted to go to South Africa, Alena answered " Though I am aware of the needs in the United states I feel that many of the global get ignored more often. Kind of an out of sight, out of mind thing.  I believe that right now is the moment to use all my skills as a early childhood educator and Social Work to make a global difference. Volunteering at this South African orphanage will be the stepping stone to something much bigger and will serve to bring awareness to children's issues globally. With your support, I can be closer to making this happen. 

For more information about Alena, African Impact and the opportunity to donate, please check out my sitehttp://www.gofundme.com/OrphanageSA. Thank you! 

Here is a perfect example of young people that are really doing something to change the world, give whatever you can EVERY dime counts. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Going back to my Reality.

In the last few months I have made an effort not to watch any reality TV shows. It all started with the continued cat fights on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. it all hit me when they couldn't get past their petty BS in Africa!!!! Surrounded by happy people, smiling and just being thankful for being alive these women argued about whether their cast mate would hold a black baby and some ridiculous conversation about a cape being Louis Vuitton....O_O. SIGH. I made myself a promise that once they left Africa I was leaving them.

I found myself re-evaluating what purpose these show served in my life, The answer was none. I wasn't being entertained, I found myself cringing and angered by the "mean girl "behavior. I pride myself in being drama free and these shows stand against everything I believe is great about being a woman, specifically a Black Woman. From the RHOA to the non-wives of Basketball there is nothing but negativity being shown to millions of people all around the world. I know the cast of these shows don't believe that they should be or have to be role models (and one one level I thank God for that) but with the lack of Black women on television the least they could do is try not to play into EVERY damn stereotype known to man. But in this age of get famous fast, talent be damned nothing will ever change.

So I'm making the decision to just turn off the TV and keep my sanity. Trust me there is a enough craziness in the world I don't need fake, scripted drama to add to that.

And NO I won't turn into one of those "OMG why are you watching that show" person because this is my personal choice and judging others for their choices is the last thing on my mind. 

Monday, April 30, 2012

A Final Farewell

Last week the awful news that NYC and the Black communities beloved Kiss FM was no longer. Though all the details of the merger are unclear, what is clear is that the Black Community in NY will be at a great loss. And we should all be angry about it.

I know some of you (especially non-NYers) probably don't understand why I'd say that because it's "Just a radio station" but KISS was so much more. In 37 years I have never known a world without this station. When I was younger KISS FM played everything from R&B to Hip-Hop. I remember waiting by the radio, finger on record to make sure I didn't miss one second of DJ Red Alert show. KISS was a Brooklyn girls everything. As I grew into an adult and music changed so did the format at KISS, but one thing always remained constant it's ties to the Black community and the events that affected our lives. From covering the Crown Heights Riots to Voter suppression and most recently the Trayvon Martin murder KISS was always at the forefront and kept you in the know. Sadly that is no more.

This morning as I listened to Toya Beasley's "Kiss Inspirations" and the aptly titled Home going service, I got choked up as gospel artist came on and told their joys of being on KISS. In the last few minutes of the show Ms. Beasley gave testimony and tried to assure listeners that KISS and WBLS would be one big happy family I felt a tear run down my cheek because I just can't see it. And then the show closed with Andrae Crouch's "God has spoken" and well that was all she wrote.

By the time this post goes lives KISS FM will be no more, we will have all the memories but NY will never be the same.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Branching out

A few weeks back I had the pleasure of hosting the First NYC Blogger Wellness Workshop with The Jaded NYer. We had a great turn out and the feedback was incredible! With all the buzz , the natural step was to launch a new site and TODAY IS THAT DAY! 

Baobab Wellness will serve as a resource to guide you to a better you by incorporating a mind, body, spirit philosophy. We are very happy and excited about this new venture and hope that all of our readers will visit the site regularly. 
(c) Marcin Kaliski 
I mean really how can you resist those smile! Come out and get you some Wellness. 
Have a question you want us to address? Be sure to send an email to Info@BaobabWellness.org.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I am Trayvon Martin, I am Sybrina Fulton (his mom)


I thought long and hard about whether I would be able to put my disgust into words about the murder of Trayvon Martin. I put pen to paper several times and ended up in tears each time, because I am a mother, a mother to a son, a mother to a Black boy in America.

After an hour the only words I could bring myself to write were "HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO CJ?" How will I explain to my son, who at 5 years old is already 3ft 5inches, that no matter his successes, no matter his attire, he will ALWAYS be public enemy number one and there is nothing his mom (or Dad, also a target) will be able to do about it. I just couldn't do it. I told myself that it was okay that I didn't need to write it out but it's not. I'm angry, no fuck that I'm mad as hell (sorry Mom). I'm mad because in this day and age after rallies, marches, protest my son is still a target for the white man's aggression just because of his skin color. I am mad that a mother has to suffer the lose of her 17 year old child because of some overzealous idiot with a gun. I'm MAD as hell that the only questions the media can think to ask are "Did he ever have a run in with the law" "Was he a good boy?" Simply put if he was a boy that stayed in his place he might still be here, NO and NO and HELL NO!

This evening while driving my husband heard the tape for the first time, he pulled the car over and looked at me for a long time. I knew what he was thinking before he said it "They would have to bury me under the jail if anyone ever hurt my son". I had the same thought. The hardest part of this is understanding how a case that is as cut and dry as this, a case that screams racism hasn't ended in an arrest! I'm not even happy with the mainstream media's coverage of this case, this should be as global as the exaggerated "Kony 2012" issue was. A man, who currently was no real threats was made famous by every white/ black/ yellow/ green person in the world, but right here in America a Black boy, YOUR OWN, is murdered and very few people speak up and say this is an injustice? I'm not judging but I am saying that the same push to capture a murderer in Uganda needs to be applied here.If there was ever a time to stand up, This is it. Don't worry about what might happen let's make sure the RIGHT thing happens and George Zimmerman is arrested.

My thoughts and prayers go out to The Trayvon Martin's family.

Excuse me while I go stare at my son all night just to make sure he's okay. *wipes tears* 

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~Quote

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life 


― Paulo CoelhoAlchemist

This quote wraps up my weekend perfectly

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Instant Gratification

This weekend we lost one of the greatest voice ever, Ms Whitney Houston. I found out about her death early Saturday night and I was floored. When I told The Mr. He refused to believe me saying and I quote " If Whitney died they would interrupt this Knick game", and then it happened EVERY radio station in NY started playing her music. (This is always the flag to let you know someone has passed.)

As I spoke to my friend Dee on the phone, on, I started to get that feeling of overload. The radio was on, CNN on, Social Media flashing new feed every second and this feeling of  Whoa I need to get off ride  I had to force myself to log off.

The next morning I spoke with two people about Whitney, and then went on with living. I watched a little VH1 soul but after a while it just becomes too much. My twitter and FB timelines are calling for a tribute at the Grammys tonight! And it had better be a great one, not some old B.E.T type tribute. I'm confused, hasn't she only been dead a few hours? The show is tonight, there's no way anyone can pull this off.

The show airs and it's a snoozer, and finally we get to the part where we honor those that passed away in the last year, and Whitney appears on the screen. Tears flow as Jennifer Hudson sing "I will always love you", she is flawless, and the tribute is over. As a fan of Whitney's music I am happy because it was simple and beautiful but the masses are pissed beyond belief. The angry chants went something like this:

"That's IT? "
"There had better be more because I stayed up to watch this show"

Annoyed I commented,  "if people must have more than hit the play button on all the music they downloaded the night before and hush". Monday night on the news I watched fans huff and puff about how unfair it is that the Houston family is choosing a private funeral service. *sigh* Confused, I wondered how we as a people have gotten to a place where we feel like we are owed this much. Can't the family mourn their lost mother, wife, daughter in peace. All of this got me thinking how social media and the Internet has changed the way we interact. With the world at our fingertip we act as if our every want (not need) isn't met immediately, it's okay to abandon all adult reasoning and scream like toddlers.
And sadly this want knows no boundaries. From the birth of Blue Ivy to the death of Whitney Houston we are demanding our wants be fed even if it means crossing boundaries. We become obsessed, crazed Stand on the flip side we become less caring, less loving, less respectful and therefore less human. This is something I don't want to be a part of.

I don't have the answers on how we change it all, but I am going to work on how I receive and process the world going forward. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Chris Brown insights yet another blog post

This weekend the Grammy's aired and boy was it a bore. Nothing new, same old, same old award show (with the exception of Adele).  As I forced myself to watch I realized that twitter was a blaze because Chris Brown was performing. I guess I was so tuned out I didn't even realize he was on stage, I find his music annoying. I know lots of women love him so I never gave it a second thought when  the hashtag #TeamBreezy flew across my screen. When I went to bed (way too late) I just put his performance in the bag with all the other God awful until I read this , 25 Extremely Upsetting reactions

No other words would come from my mouth besides WOW! Women saying that Chris Brown's good looks would allow him to beat on them. Yes Society we have a REAL Problem and that is a lack of self-esteem, which I tweeted.

: These tweets about letting Chris brown beat you because he's fine are just... All I can say is Self Esteem Get You Some!

I thought most people would see it that way but I was wrong, people were actually blaming Chris Brown, saying it was wrong for him to perform... huh? Before I go off on a tangent let me say that I do not support Chris Brown and what he did to Rihanna. I find his behavior on most occasions reprehensible, but I also believe in forgiveness and the process of rehabilitation. Chris Brown at that place, and we should take the time to look at the situation as we know it, hope that he is seeking therapy and working through his issues. He is but 23 years old and has a lot of time to grow. I've seen boys become men who were once in the same place, this is not to say every abuser can be reformed.

For those of you ready to scream she's blaming the victim, you are wrong. I don't, nor will I ever blame Rihanna because she is a survivor of domestic abuse. I watched three of my best friends deal with abusive significant others and though at the time I didn't always understand it I NEVER blamed them. I also watched as they have all healed and wished their former abusers the strength to get better and to be able to move on.

Now my real issue here is with the women that think it's okay to say things like this, Chris Brown is actually a non-factor in that case.What needs to be addressed is how do we tell women you deserve more than just having some fine man beat you? What would lead you to put yourself out on a social work as having the lowest self-esteem EVER? I see this as a teaching moment for women. We all need to reach out to young girls and speak to her about these things. Too often we just think that EVERY one knows their self worth. It's not true, some never feel that in their lives. Stand up and tell a woman in your life,  You deserve to be loved and appreciated. The more they hear it the more likely it is to sink in. 

Chris Brown doesn't need your forgiveness but from the likes of these tweets some women need to start .forgiving themselves and healing.

Monday, February 13, 2012

NYC Wellness Workshop

A few months back The Jaded Nyer and I attended a party, we had a great time but happened to notice a lot of women in attendance were out of shape. Interestingly enough the opposite held true for the men, who were all buff and cut up giving the appearance of healthy living. In passing I made a comment that we needed to reach out to women to help them get on the path to a better, healthier life.

I'm sure people are like "oooh here we go with another group of experts" but it's not that at all. Recently we've both made changes in our lifestyle, from what we eat, drink and how we exercise and it's worked. So we thought what better time than now to share the steps that have worked for us. Our changes in lifestyle gave birth to our First NYC Wellness Workshop. Come out and join us as we help you find new, fun ways to stay fit and keep those pesky resolutions you set!

Click the link below to register!

Register for NYC Bloggers' Wellness Workshop in New York, NY  on Eventbrite

My abs hate me, my sweet tooth is like UHM WTF but I haven't felt this healthy in years. 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

21 day Yoga Challenge ~ Week two

Inhale, and God approaches you.  Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you.  Exhale, and you approach God.  Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.  ~Krishnamacharya

Last week I shared my progress after the first week of the 21 day Yoga Challenge, which turned out to be a great week. My body felt stronger, my mind was clear and everything I've loved about Yoga came rushing back to me. This week wasn't that much different and I managed to stick to my set schedule even the one day CJ was sick. I felt good about that but struggled with what to write about, and then it hit me. Right in the middle of one of my favorite poses, wheel pose (Urdhva Dhanurasana) I realized I wasn't breathing. It quickly came to me that when a pose is challenging or I get tired, I don't breathe! WHAT THE HELL?

Everyone that has ever spoken the word Yoga knows that breathing is the end all be all. Your breathe guides your practice, so why am I choosing to stop when I feel challenged? Why am blocking everything I know is right and what I have been taught will help me? The simple answer is my need to control. In the last 24 hours I've felt my self stop breathing, clenching my jaw and tension in my neck during challenging poses, anger at a colleague and frustration at someones mistake!  All of this points directly to my need to control things that actually should be left to the universe. So I'm going to work on that. I will breathe through every pose, I will surrender my mind and body and when I feel tired I will rest.

Let's hope that week 3 brings better results.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~Quote

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” 

Lao Tzu

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I'm just in that kind of mood. I've loved this song since I was a kid, it brings up memories of the quiet storm and me crossing my finger and wishing for it to come on. 

This should have been the first song we played once we were married. Ah well I sing it around the house enough so we can dance to it anytime.

Monday, February 6, 2012

I'm living in a box

I love what I do, I love what I do. how many times have you repeated this mantra to yourself as you prepared yourself to go off to a job you hate?

I remember feeling this way at my last place of employment. To be fair it was true, I loved what I did, unfortunately the people I worked with made it hard to do my job, so I left. I was reminded of this last night as I started fleshing out the next move in my career, and trying to decide whether I even want to stay in this business. I can honestly say I love what I do, I am good at it and it actually brings me joy but again sometimes the people I work with.....well yeah. I had to ask myself if being good at something means it's the only thing I should do? my answer NO. I'm good at a lot of things so why (besides the obvious reason of too little time) can't I try to do a little of all the things I love. In the last few years I have felt like I could be doing more but when I express my interest there is always someone in the background asking me to choose one or the other. These pressures force people into a box and often into unhappy situations. So how do we get around that? 

I don't know. 

I do know that I have started to shake the feelings that others might judge me and am working on a  few things outside of my 9-5 and I love it. The planning (especially with good friends around), the support and hopefully a really successful event. Life is just too short to sit around thinking I could have done this or that, so  my plan is to just do it all. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

21 day Yoga challenge

I've been doing yoga for years, over 10 years to be exact and I've always loved it. I took my first class after a rather intense boxing class because I felt sore and figured the stretch would help. I knew nothing about Yoga but feel in love immediately. As is my nature I went hard, several classes a day, practice at home, I was all yoga all the time. I didn't really see it as anymore than exercise, until a very challenging time in my relationship. I will never forget the moment I felt secure enough to surrender to the poses, my breathe and feel a spiritual understanding and connection. I cried for 40 minutes after that class. (It's weird because I visited that class several times after and never found that yogi again) I have only felt that intense sense of relief twice in my life, the second being the day I gave birth (also made possible by Yogic breathing and vinyasa.)

I practiced through my pregnancy regularly and for two years with CJ, it was the best time. Then life stepped in and shook that all up, I would still squeeze in a practice at home but slowly stopped going to class. I worked had to convince myself that I didn't miss it but I did. That feeling has became very intense in the last few weeks and like that mysterious Yogi I found a challenge on Yoga journal. The 21 day challenge is made up of three parts:
  • 15 minutes of meditation
  • one vegetarian meal a day
  •  one yoga a day.
Pretty simple. 
  • Day one and two I went to the gym after work. I liked the teacher and even though I prefer Hatha I had a great practice.
  • Day three I woke up a 45 minutes earlier than I should have thanks to my TV and had a morning practice courtesy of yoga Journal's free full length videos. 
  • Day four - six I did the Yoga journal videos and the went to the gym. This I find is the best combination for me. I start my day off with movement and end the same way, and so today day 7 will be the same.
 So far I feel much stronger, My body feel lengthy and with the exception of Tuesday my mind has been clearer despite the chaos that has been surrounding me. All and all I can say this challenge is going to be a great experience, especially with all the many things I have going on in the few weeks. I've added one layer to my challenge and that's to turn off the TV before I fall asleep. For years I've convinced myself that I need the noise to settle down but I know now that's false, it just keeps my mind over stimulated so off it goes.

I think a weekly update on my progress will happen here. I want to chronicle the stumbles, the failures and obviously the many successes. For those of you looking to get into Yoga this is a great way to start. Log your days and see how much you change your mind set in 21 days!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~ Quote

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
                    ~ Buddha

I'm no expert

Of Course I'm an expert, I'm a blogger! 
If you follow me on twitter than you know I spend a lot of time ranting, but in the last year I have been spent just as much time talking about healthy relationships, friendship and self-esteem. To my surprise people actually take what I say to heart and find my "Advice" useful. Who knew?!

I don't consider myself an expert AT ALL, I just see myself as having lived a really interesting life full of good and bad teaching moments. After a year of talking about it I'm just going to take 2012 by the "marbles" and open my blog up to you the readers. You can ask me any questions about life (not my life) that stumps you and I will do my best to answer. So send your questions here: Contact me, email, twitter whatever your choice. Let's get to healing folks!

Y'all can blame La_Redatrice and Smarty's World for this :)

Monday, January 30, 2012

What are you inviting into your life?

This morning while at Yoga, the Yogi in a spooky calming voice reminded us that while in child's pose we should make an effort to "meditate on what you are inviting into your life." In all the years I've been practicing Yoga I can honestly say that it takes some time for me to get to a place where I can mediate while in class, my mind is usually very busy. This morning as the class started all I could think about was getting through the vinyasa and off to the shower so I could make it to work.

But today as we reached the fourth sequence I almost felt as if I was watching myself. I watched my body glide through the poses, my mind cleared and I could hear my inner voice. I heard the same word repeated as I reminded myself to open my heart and let in what I want in my life. At the end of class I sat in child pose and mulled over the word that had come to mind. Peace. The only energy I want to allow into my life is that of a peaceful nature. I don't think my life is filled with too much drama but there are moments when I let things so insignificant get me all riled up therefore ruining my zen. I'm going to work on letting less of that happen starting today.

I was also reminded that my practice is not only about remaining fit (in body) but furthering my connection to the universe. Let me go and re-read my chakra post.

Friday, January 27, 2012

On Monday I never go to work.

If only kids knew how easy they have it. CJ sings this song all the time and then tells me I should stay home from work. I tried explaining to him that Mommy can't just "never go to work" but it doesn't always click. But I can dream, right? 

Thanks to They Might be Giants.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


I can honestly say I wasn't paying much attention to this SOPA and PIPA movement. Not because I thought it didn't apply to me but because  I was sure the US Government would act like there were bigger issues facing this country and FOCUS. Clearly I was wrong. In the face of double dip recession, high unemployment rates, a housing crisis and  voter suppression using  Jim Crow antics the United States Congress is choosing to focus on  Piracy. *Slaps forehead*

Today tons of sites have decided to "Blackout" their feeds so that we can see just what the world would look like without access or rather access controlled by the entertainment industry and government. This video explains it best.

Protect IP Act Breaks the Internet from Kirby Ferguson on Vimeo.

This doesn't just affect bloggers, it affects us all.
Go here to sign the petition to STOP SOPA, Fight for the Future.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Friday inspiration

This morning after Yoga I came across this video on my FB friend and Yoga mentors page. I was in awe. The fluidity in her movement, the strength in her back, legs and arm, the peacefulness. *JUMPS UP AND DOWN* 

This is why I do Yoga! It's more than just a way for me to stay fit, it's a way for me to connect mind, body and soul in a peaceful way.

There were a few comments about it being too sexy, or taking away from the art but I disagree. This is beauty, art and I am inspired to keep up my practice.


Thursday, January 12, 2012

Happy Birthday, Happy Born day, Happy Earth Strong TO ME!

Sorry Dee I had to cut you out :) 
Instead of just telling you guys how awesome and wise I am on this my 37th birthday (You know it's true), I thought I'd share some of my birthday traditions, saying and must do/haves on this day a.k.a "The day an angel graced the earth! "

Favorite quote: 
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied:  "I wish no gifts, only presence."  ~Author Unknown

Birthday Breakfast: 
Tea and Pain au chocolate. 

Favorite response to how old I actually am: 
You need to stop lying and show me some i.d. (what can I say good black don't crack, sorry my vanilla hued folks). 

Must Do:

  • Get eyebrows done by Anastasia (costly yes, but damn it it's my BIRTHDAY)
  • Listen to my birthday mix which includes only Bill Withers, Beres Hammond and Robert Nesta Marley! Nothing but the best for me! 
  • Speak to my husband at midnight. He always sings me a song, today it was "I want to spend the night" 
  • Take a picture of the newspaper headline. This will make it easier for CJ to give me the Cosby-eque birthday party at 60. 
Must haves: 
  • Phone call from my mom asking me how it feels to be (insert age). nothing makes me giggle like that silly conversation. 
  • Calls from both of my sisters and my homies Dee and GG. Always the funniest, always the best! 
  • In the last 5 years a dance with CJ. He loves it, though he often ends up break dancing . Go figure. 
So that's it. I'm 37 and I feel awesome. I am at a place in my life where there aren't many things I want for or need. I have a family that loves and supports me. A husband and child that adore me as I do them and friends that make the worst day better. 

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Quote of the day:

You must be what it is that you’re seeking. This is a universe of attraction and energy. You can’t have a desire to attract a mate who’s confident, generous, non-judgmental, and gentle, and expect that desire to be manifested if you’re thinking and acting in nonconfident, selfish, judgmental, or arrogant ways…
~ Wayne Dyer

Reflecting on who I am.

In an effort to make some changes to this blog and what I want it to be I sat down and looked at who I am. I do this exercise on occasion, usually when I'm at a crossroad in my life. The first time, I cried. I sat in the middle of a yoga studio and I cried.  it took a knowing hand from my Yogi to calm me. He explained that often times we lose touch with who we are and our place in the universe, this exercise is a way to get back to that. 

I am 
A spiritual being
  A powerhouse
   A mother and nurturer
    A wife and confidant
     A healer
     A friend
     A daughter and granddaughter
      A giver of life
        The center of the Universe, yet graceful intertwined within it.
I am honest
    As strong as the trunk of the Baobab tree
    And as gentle as a kiss from the wind.

Most importantly I am comfortable in being who I am regardless of what others think or do. 

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Love and Hip Hop

So I've been watching Love and Hip Hop and unlike most I don't feel the need to comment on how we as a people need to do better. That's a given especially if the show is on VH1. It's 100% clear that reality TV is not about showing Black women doing big things, it's about ratchet behavior and that's why we watch. The ratchet behavior is not unique to women of color so if any other race of people want to debate I will point them to RHOBH and Mob Wives.. THE END.

Anyway once I got past the stupid fights and discussions about getting money I realized the issues highlighted on this show are what the relationship blogs cover and women deal with everyday. Most of the women watching the show have been or are currently in some of the same situations being shown, but they are cussing and tsk tsking the women on the show. Why? Because it makes the pain of dealing with your own f-ed up situation easier.

There are several characters on this show but I know for certain I have watched friends go through the trials Chrissy and Emily have gone through. Chrissy not knowing the future of her relationship because the man is caught up in being a man child, and Emily with the cheating father of her child and her misconception of what real love is... REAL ISSUES. The only difference is that there is no camera shoved in the everyday woman's face 24/7.

Even Yandy, she's in a male dominated business where on some level the men are treating her like they treat the women they sleep with, showing her little respect and that doesn't work for business.I totally understand this feeling because I work in a field where men dominate, I've just learned not to  take their BS. Yandy will learn that too, and when she starts separating business and friends she will become even more of a success. In short, I'm not saying don't voice your opinion about what's happening because that show is pure comedy gold, but don't act all surprised when the women cry or say stupid things like I love him... we've all been there and though it's TV it's still easier to lift up another woman than to bash her.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Very Superstitious

Every year before the 31st I do two things, I clean my house from top to bottom and then I cook a special meal. There hasn't been one year since I've been on my own that this doesn't happen. And though I'm sure if I didn't wash every stitch of clothing we'd still be okay I continue to do it. Old wives tales passed from generation to generation just have a way of sticking with you. So here are my New Year's MUST Do's (Thank Dee for this post). 

1. Your home must be cleaned spic and span. No one wants to bring in the new year with the last years dirt. And there is to be no sweeping until the 2nd. Why? because you sweep out the new years blessings. I will say this has become harder with a 5 year old because he is ALWAYS dropping things but I still do it. 

2. All clothes must be cleaned. I guess that follows the same thought of old dirt, new year. And as much as I hate laundry this one is definitely one I wouldn't mind giving up. 

3. Collard Greens and Hoppin' John. Collard greens bring wealth and black eyed peas bring luck in the new year. There is always a pot of collards here and this year I have to say they were magnificent but I can't get into the peas, so I am hoping the good luck will follow me anyway. 

4. The man you plan to spend the rest of your year with needs to be with you at midnight. Some say he should be walking through the door at midnight but I guess that's harder these days. 

So there it is the superstitions I live by even if logic defies. Share your superstitions in the comment section!