Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~Quote

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life 


― Paulo CoelhoAlchemist

This quote wraps up my weekend perfectly

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Instant Gratification

This weekend we lost one of the greatest voice ever, Ms Whitney Houston. I found out about her death early Saturday night and I was floored. When I told The Mr. He refused to believe me saying and I quote " If Whitney died they would interrupt this Knick game", and then it happened EVERY radio station in NY started playing her music. (This is always the flag to let you know someone has passed.)

As I spoke to my friend Dee on the phone, on, I started to get that feeling of overload. The radio was on, CNN on, Social Media flashing new feed every second and this feeling of  Whoa I need to get off ride  I had to force myself to log off.

The next morning I spoke with two people about Whitney, and then went on with living. I watched a little VH1 soul but after a while it just becomes too much. My twitter and FB timelines are calling for a tribute at the Grammys tonight! And it had better be a great one, not some old B.E.T type tribute. I'm confused, hasn't she only been dead a few hours? The show is tonight, there's no way anyone can pull this off.

The show airs and it's a snoozer, and finally we get to the part where we honor those that passed away in the last year, and Whitney appears on the screen. Tears flow as Jennifer Hudson sing "I will always love you", she is flawless, and the tribute is over. As a fan of Whitney's music I am happy because it was simple and beautiful but the masses are pissed beyond belief. The angry chants went something like this:

"That's IT? "
"There had better be more because I stayed up to watch this show"

Annoyed I commented,  "if people must have more than hit the play button on all the music they downloaded the night before and hush". Monday night on the news I watched fans huff and puff about how unfair it is that the Houston family is choosing a private funeral service. *sigh* Confused, I wondered how we as a people have gotten to a place where we feel like we are owed this much. Can't the family mourn their lost mother, wife, daughter in peace. All of this got me thinking how social media and the Internet has changed the way we interact. With the world at our fingertip we act as if our every want (not need) isn't met immediately, it's okay to abandon all adult reasoning and scream like toddlers.
And sadly this want knows no boundaries. From the birth of Blue Ivy to the death of Whitney Houston we are demanding our wants be fed even if it means crossing boundaries. We become obsessed, crazed Stand on the flip side we become less caring, less loving, less respectful and therefore less human. This is something I don't want to be a part of.

I don't have the answers on how we change it all, but I am going to work on how I receive and process the world going forward. 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Chris Brown insights yet another blog post

This weekend the Grammy's aired and boy was it a bore. Nothing new, same old, same old award show (with the exception of Adele).  As I forced myself to watch I realized that twitter was a blaze because Chris Brown was performing. I guess I was so tuned out I didn't even realize he was on stage, I find his music annoying. I know lots of women love him so I never gave it a second thought when  the hashtag #TeamBreezy flew across my screen. When I went to bed (way too late) I just put his performance in the bag with all the other God awful until I read this , 25 Extremely Upsetting reactions

No other words would come from my mouth besides WOW! Women saying that Chris Brown's good looks would allow him to beat on them. Yes Society we have a REAL Problem and that is a lack of self-esteem, which I tweeted.

: These tweets about letting Chris brown beat you because he's fine are just... All I can say is Self Esteem Get You Some!

I thought most people would see it that way but I was wrong, people were actually blaming Chris Brown, saying it was wrong for him to perform... huh? Before I go off on a tangent let me say that I do not support Chris Brown and what he did to Rihanna. I find his behavior on most occasions reprehensible, but I also believe in forgiveness and the process of rehabilitation. Chris Brown at that place, and we should take the time to look at the situation as we know it, hope that he is seeking therapy and working through his issues. He is but 23 years old and has a lot of time to grow. I've seen boys become men who were once in the same place, this is not to say every abuser can be reformed.

For those of you ready to scream she's blaming the victim, you are wrong. I don't, nor will I ever blame Rihanna because she is a survivor of domestic abuse. I watched three of my best friends deal with abusive significant others and though at the time I didn't always understand it I NEVER blamed them. I also watched as they have all healed and wished their former abusers the strength to get better and to be able to move on.

Now my real issue here is with the women that think it's okay to say things like this, Chris Brown is actually a non-factor in that case.What needs to be addressed is how do we tell women you deserve more than just having some fine man beat you? What would lead you to put yourself out on a social work as having the lowest self-esteem EVER? I see this as a teaching moment for women. We all need to reach out to young girls and speak to her about these things. Too often we just think that EVERY one knows their self worth. It's not true, some never feel that in their lives. Stand up and tell a woman in your life,  You deserve to be loved and appreciated. The more they hear it the more likely it is to sink in. 

Chris Brown doesn't need your forgiveness but from the likes of these tweets some women need to start .forgiving themselves and healing.

Monday, February 13, 2012

NYC Wellness Workshop

A few months back The Jaded Nyer and I attended a party, we had a great time but happened to notice a lot of women in attendance were out of shape. Interestingly enough the opposite held true for the men, who were all buff and cut up giving the appearance of healthy living. In passing I made a comment that we needed to reach out to women to help them get on the path to a better, healthier life.

I'm sure people are like "oooh here we go with another group of experts" but it's not that at all. Recently we've both made changes in our lifestyle, from what we eat, drink and how we exercise and it's worked. So we thought what better time than now to share the steps that have worked for us. Our changes in lifestyle gave birth to our First NYC Wellness Workshop. Come out and join us as we help you find new, fun ways to stay fit and keep those pesky resolutions you set!

Click the link below to register!

Register for NYC Bloggers' Wellness Workshop in New York, NY  on Eventbrite

My abs hate me, my sweet tooth is like UHM WTF but I haven't felt this healthy in years. 

Saturday, February 11, 2012

21 day Yoga Challenge ~ Week two

Inhale, and God approaches you.  Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you.  Exhale, and you approach God.  Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God.  ~Krishnamacharya

Last week I shared my progress after the first week of the 21 day Yoga Challenge, which turned out to be a great week. My body felt stronger, my mind was clear and everything I've loved about Yoga came rushing back to me. This week wasn't that much different and I managed to stick to my set schedule even the one day CJ was sick. I felt good about that but struggled with what to write about, and then it hit me. Right in the middle of one of my favorite poses, wheel pose (Urdhva Dhanurasana) I realized I wasn't breathing. It quickly came to me that when a pose is challenging or I get tired, I don't breathe! WHAT THE HELL?

Everyone that has ever spoken the word Yoga knows that breathing is the end all be all. Your breathe guides your practice, so why am I choosing to stop when I feel challenged? Why am blocking everything I know is right and what I have been taught will help me? The simple answer is my need to control. In the last 24 hours I've felt my self stop breathing, clenching my jaw and tension in my neck during challenging poses, anger at a colleague and frustration at someones mistake!  All of this points directly to my need to control things that actually should be left to the universe. So I'm going to work on that. I will breathe through every pose, I will surrender my mind and body and when I feel tired I will rest.

Let's hope that week 3 brings better results.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~Quote

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” 

Lao Tzu

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


I'm just in that kind of mood. I've loved this song since I was a kid, it brings up memories of the quiet storm and me crossing my finger and wishing for it to come on. 

This should have been the first song we played once we were married. Ah well I sing it around the house enough so we can dance to it anytime.

Monday, February 6, 2012

I'm living in a box

I love what I do, I love what I do. how many times have you repeated this mantra to yourself as you prepared yourself to go off to a job you hate?

I remember feeling this way at my last place of employment. To be fair it was true, I loved what I did, unfortunately the people I worked with made it hard to do my job, so I left. I was reminded of this last night as I started fleshing out the next move in my career, and trying to decide whether I even want to stay in this business. I can honestly say I love what I do, I am good at it and it actually brings me joy but again sometimes the people I work with.....well yeah. I had to ask myself if being good at something means it's the only thing I should do? my answer NO. I'm good at a lot of things so why (besides the obvious reason of too little time) can't I try to do a little of all the things I love. In the last few years I have felt like I could be doing more but when I express my interest there is always someone in the background asking me to choose one or the other. These pressures force people into a box and often into unhappy situations. So how do we get around that? 

I don't know. 

I do know that I have started to shake the feelings that others might judge me and am working on a  few things outside of my 9-5 and I love it. The planning (especially with good friends around), the support and hopefully a really successful event. Life is just too short to sit around thinking I could have done this or that, so  my plan is to just do it all. 

Friday, February 3, 2012

21 day Yoga challenge

I've been doing yoga for years, over 10 years to be exact and I've always loved it. I took my first class after a rather intense boxing class because I felt sore and figured the stretch would help. I knew nothing about Yoga but feel in love immediately. As is my nature I went hard, several classes a day, practice at home, I was all yoga all the time. I didn't really see it as anymore than exercise, until a very challenging time in my relationship. I will never forget the moment I felt secure enough to surrender to the poses, my breathe and feel a spiritual understanding and connection. I cried for 40 minutes after that class. (It's weird because I visited that class several times after and never found that yogi again) I have only felt that intense sense of relief twice in my life, the second being the day I gave birth (also made possible by Yogic breathing and vinyasa.)

I practiced through my pregnancy regularly and for two years with CJ, it was the best time. Then life stepped in and shook that all up, I would still squeeze in a practice at home but slowly stopped going to class. I worked had to convince myself that I didn't miss it but I did. That feeling has became very intense in the last few weeks and like that mysterious Yogi I found a challenge on Yoga journal. The 21 day challenge is made up of three parts:
  • 15 minutes of meditation
  • one vegetarian meal a day
  •  one yoga a day.
Pretty simple. 
  • Day one and two I went to the gym after work. I liked the teacher and even though I prefer Hatha I had a great practice.
  • Day three I woke up a 45 minutes earlier than I should have thanks to my TV and had a morning practice courtesy of yoga Journal's free full length videos. 
  • Day four - six I did the Yoga journal videos and the went to the gym. This I find is the best combination for me. I start my day off with movement and end the same way, and so today day 7 will be the same.
 So far I feel much stronger, My body feel lengthy and with the exception of Tuesday my mind has been clearer despite the chaos that has been surrounding me. All and all I can say this challenge is going to be a great experience, especially with all the many things I have going on in the few weeks. I've added one layer to my challenge and that's to turn off the TV before I fall asleep. For years I've convinced myself that I need the noise to settle down but I know now that's false, it just keeps my mind over stimulated so off it goes.

I think a weekly update on my progress will happen here. I want to chronicle the stumbles, the failures and obviously the many successes. For those of you looking to get into Yoga this is a great way to start. Log your days and see how much you change your mind set in 21 days!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wednesday Inspiration ~ Quote

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."
                    ~ Buddha

I'm no expert

Of Course I'm an expert, I'm a blogger! 
If you follow me on twitter than you know I spend a lot of time ranting, but in the last year I have been spent just as much time talking about healthy relationships, friendship and self-esteem. To my surprise people actually take what I say to heart and find my "Advice" useful. Who knew?!

I don't consider myself an expert AT ALL, I just see myself as having lived a really interesting life full of good and bad teaching moments. After a year of talking about it I'm just going to take 2012 by the "marbles" and open my blog up to you the readers. You can ask me any questions about life (not my life) that stumps you and I will do my best to answer. So send your questions here: Contact me, email, twitter whatever your choice. Let's get to healing folks!

Y'all can blame La_Redatrice and Smarty's World for this :)