Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Let's Talk About: Relationships

Last Friday on Facebook the question below was posed:
A Co worker befriends another co worker's husband because they went to the same college but doesn't tell that co worker. He/ She finds out. What would you do? Me: They would be off that page in a blink of an eye. Then I would get on him for having accepted her as a friend.
My responses were ones I'm sure several of you have heard me say: This is absurd, If you take what happens on FB as a way to define your union then something bigger is wrong. Social Media should never be a factor in your marriage because you shouldn't take what happens seriously. This person is someone from his past it shouldn't matter one way or the other if you're secure in your marriage. Again if your "buttons" include something so trivial as the virtual world, therapy is necessary. 

When I sit back and think of all the things I could discuss with my significant other, being upset about a friendship is not high on my list. I know what if feels like to be on the receiving end of the "why are you friends with my man" or the random friend requests after a brief meeting with their significant others and each time I've ignore it. It always smells funny, and point directly to insecurity and a power play on the part of these women and I don't understand it. If you think that your husband (or wife) is going to cheat or have inappropriate conversations then both of you should step away from the computers and step into that therapist office and address it. But blaming social media for your lack of trust is a cop out at best. TRUST when I tell you if someone wants to cheat they don't need a computer to do it.

If your issue is respect, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your friendship with the person in question.  Clearly s/he doesn't see you as a good friend or wouldn't you have been friends before this? I know I am very selective about who I allow to add me on FB because there are parts of my private life that I only want to share with friends, not the entire world.

In trying to answer this one could ask run through a list of questions like, Did they date in the past? Were they good friends in college? On and on you could go in order to answer this but it all comes down to one thing, IT IS FACEBOOK and not worth the energy!

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