Monday, March 25, 2013

Self Confidence vs.Arrogance

After a rather lengthy(and exhausting) email exchange with a friend last week, I started thinking about the thin line between being self confident and arrogant.

As I pondered this I was reminded of a quote I saw on Blogging 4 Jobs
True arrogance is the belief that you have nothing left to learn, while true confidence is the belief that you can help others to learn as you continue learning yourself. Confident people share value while arrogant people try to “sell” you that they are correct.

Yes this is exactly it.

A confident person knows that exchanges with others will always be a learning/teaching situation. They are secure enough to know that they can't always be right and even when they are not to gloat. While arrogance seems to be a thin veil for insecurity, hence the need to argue, belittle and prove a person wrong.

I believe I'm a confident person, I don't engage in arguments too often and I'm okay with knowing that maybe I was wrong. However more often then not I have been labeled as arrogant or judgemental, Why?  Because I won't try to sell you the dream. When I turned 30 I made the decision to not wallow in the mud puddles of drama with other people. I know what I know and will always be willing to share and learn from every situation in my life. Did I do it for other people? HECK NO. I did it for me because dealing with angry insecure people was changing me, it was feeding something in me that never existed before and I was tired of it. I had to come to the realization that the need to be right all the time was draining me and making me a not so great person, and if I didn't like myself how could anyone else? SO  I dragged my little self back across that thin line and never looked back. It wasn't an easy task by any means because it requires identifying the ugly truths about yourself and actually changing them.

I realize now that my friend hasn't gotten to that place in her life yet but she will. Until then I just have to be calm and not engage.

So which side of the line do you fall on? Think about it for a minute and then answer. If you fall on the side of confidence what changes did you make in your life to get there? If arrogance then what changes are you planning? Or are you okay with it?

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